Hearing vs. Listening.....

Day three at the beach. I could totally live here. I really could.

Of course, I would never get anything done. Except for the occasional blog post. ;)

I've done a lot of praying here. I am needing some major discernment over some things coming up through my SHINE ministry. Like major.

I know that God is not the author of confusion, because His word says so. At times, I feel confused, but then, I know that He just wants me to trust Him. Completely.

I am learning that He calls us and can re-direct us at any point. It's not the re-direction that is the main thing, it's the hearing Him call you on a different path. You know?

It takes a whole lot of sensitivity to His voice in order to not miss the gentle call of His voice.

Life can get noisy. And I just don't mean in the physical sense.

 It can get noisy when I have too much on my plate, spend too much time on the internet, worry over a conversation that didn't go well and play it over and over and over in my head, feelings of guilt for a reaction I may have had to one of my children {this one can really trip me up}, wondering what others may be thinking of me, wondering what Lem thinks of me.

Yeah, my mind can get noisy.

All that noise playing in my head keeps me from hearing Him at times. If I am entertaining all those things in my blonde little brain, there is no room to hear the Only Voice that matters. His.

It would be much easier if He could just pull me aside and look me in the eyes and speak what He wants me to do. However, I think that negates the personal relationship I have with Him. Right? He wants to know that I am hearing Him, because I am choosing to listen for Him.

I don't want my kids being forced to hear me, I want them to listen for my voice. Anticipate it.

When I talk to my kids, I want them to listen to me. Not just hear my voice echoing.

Everyone with ears can hear. But, can they listen? It takes discipline to listen. It does.

I think that's what He wants from us.

It's a daily thing. To try to stay in tune with Him. He's always, always there waiting to talk, to lead, to direct me. But, am I waiting for Him to? Am I clearing the cluttered path for Him to come in to my heart and truly listen for Him?


learning to listen,

jill

A Big, Big Day.....

Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates. 

Deuteronomy 6: 6-7 MSG

This verse was the verse of the day on Biblegateway.com. It was THE verse that convicted me several years back. It convicted me to talk, teach, and LIVE God's word out daily to my kids. Yep, that's the verse.

So, when my Presley Jane gave her heart to Jesus on Easter 2 years ago, it was one of the best days of my life. The story is here.

Since that time, she has been wanting to get baptized. Sunday February 24th, she took the plunge.

It was a beautiful sight. Of course, like all mommas, I was very emotional. I prayed as she was being dipped into that cold water she would stay straight on this path. That her heart would stay tuned to His Voice.

I'll let the pictures do the talking for the rest of this post.

We love you, Presley Jane. More importantly, God loves you sweet girl.

Pastor Scott Moore baptizes Presley

Lem and I looking on...

Paw Paw and his girl

Maw Maw hugs her girl

Anna-Joy and Presley loving on Maw Maw and Paw Paw

Royce, Tyler, Audrey (Audrey's friend--not sure of her name),
Presley, Sloane, Anna-Joy, Joseph, Jasmine and Johnathon

Same kids plus Danny and Gabby!

Paw Paw gives Danny some lovin' as Missy looks on

Jason & Jenny Strantz, Lem, Tyler,
Jessica, Rob, Jane, Danny, Presley, Jasmine, Johnathon,
Joseph, PawPaw ,
Anna-Joy,
Mary & Chad Balicki, Audrey, Sloane, Gabby,
 Angela & Lee Crowe, me
Missy is taking the picture! :)

Mommy Jane & Presley

Missy & Presley

Our family

Joseph and Jasmine

Anna-Joy & Presley

Audrey & Presley

she loves her daddy!

my favorite girl

Presley gives Jasmine a ride

Johnathon, a sweet boy who has my heart

long time friend, sweet Mary Balicki and her Gabby

Paw Paw & Presley Jane

Great friends! Danny & Johnathon

i LOVE these people

a heart cake by Momma Jane.
{because Presley gave her heart to Jesus}

a special chocolate request from Joseph--made by Aunt Angie

And of course--a special performance by the STAR!!!

one proud mommy,

jill

Angels among us....

I only have a few minutes before I leave to get my children from school...

But, I just had to share. I just had to let you know...

This morning on the way to school I had a long discussion with my kids about angels.

This stems from something Presley told me a couple of days ago.

I wrote about it on SHINE this morning. You can read it there, I don't want to repeat myself.

I was telling my kids, reassuring them, that angels were surrounding them. Presley said she could feel the devil taunting her and making her feel bad.

My mind envisioned angel armies encamped around her little body. As soon as I envisioned this, I quickly shared this mental picture with her.

Presley, Satan can NOT harm you. He will try to deceive you and trick you, but you are surrounded by God's angels.

"For He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways." Psalm 91:11 

We read Psalm 91 every single morning. Every morning.

It never dawned on me to explain it like this to her before.

I had always told her Jesus is with her. Because He is.

However, this time, today, she needed to know that she is always protected not just by Jesus but by His angel armies.

I have chills writing this.

This is a revelation of sorts to me today.

I mean, I knew this. But now, today, something turned on inside of me. A Holy Light and Truth that has been there all along, just for some reason I could not connect it to my {wavering} mind.

Here's the way God works, friends:

I got home from dropping my kids off at school. Soon after I receive an email from my dear friend telling me that she has been praying for Presley all morning since reading the SHINE entry.

She told me that she was reading a book on angels, and she wanted to tell me to reassure Presley that angels were surrounding her, daily.

Here's what it said exactly:

 Presley has been on my heart and mind this morning. Please tell her for me that I am praying for the Lord to send her an angel to minister to her when she feels scared. I am reading a book about angels right now, and this is what I just found for her: Angels Protect Saints "For He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways." Psalm 91:11 Angels protected Daniel in the lion's den and closed the mouths of lions. And angels delivered Peter from prison twice. I also read that angels are men. Strong like Jesus and her Daddy! And Jesus is with her always of course! "The Lord is with you wherever you go." Praying for her! Just wanted to share since she was on my heart! 

Y'all! I couldn't control the emotions. God was reaffirming the short few minutes I had in the car with my babies telling them they were protected by God's angels.

This is no coincidence. Only God.

Are you struggling with fear today?

Oh, friend. Know that you are protected. Know that He has an army of angels surrounding His precious son or daughter.

Maybe your children need to be reassured by this?

I'm praying right now that anyone who reads this post will have that same light turned on. That you will not just know, but believe. 

Picture those angels around you right now.

It's almost too much to take in, His love for us.

A Beautiful Mess.....

I'm starting to see how loving like Jesus can be real messy sometimes. Like big time.

I used to think that loving like Jesus and asking God to give me eyes like Jesus would make things oh so neat and pretty.

Oh, on the contrary.

That's worth repeating: Oh, on the contrary.

Many may disagree with me, and I am so ok with that.

Loving like Jesus and really trying to be the hands and feet of Jesus--is pure Joy, and Happiness, and Abundance, and Blessing! {or so many will say}

I do not disagree that it certainly brings those things.

However, truly letting Him open our eyes to the hurting, the suffering, the lost, the lonely, the mother-less, the father-less...

Oh sweet Jesus, it's almost too much to bear.

We have the absolute pleasure of keeping two foster children in our home this weekend.

They are angels.

But, it is hard.

They are not hard. The situation is hard.

I just finished tucking them in, knowing that this may be their last stay with us.

They may be adopted soon.

Which is wonderful news.

But, I ache for them.

I ache for them to have to start all over again after being in a foster family for over 2 years now.

I ache for their future.

I ache for.....my loss. Of possibly not seeing them again...ever, after they are adopted.

Lem and I have grown attached to these little love muffins.

They are the two children God sent our way 2 years ago while vacationing in St. Simons.

Our good friends were fostering them and we fell in love with these two darlings.

They are the reason that we went through foster training.

They are the reasons that my heart is aching.

It's so messy. This loving thing.

It's never easy, or simple, or pretty and neat.

I often wonder why I am so attached to the...for lack of a better word--unlovables in this world.

I think I have found the answer.

I can relate to them.

I can relate to their desire to be loved. To be wanted. To be pursued.

Can't we all?

My friend Mary was asking me today how it was going having the extra kids in the house this week.

I smiled and honestly said that it was so natural. Yes, it was harder, but it just felt right.

Isn't that just perfectly God? To make something so hard, so tiring, so sad....to make it feel just right.

Life is messy.

It is.

However, God uses those messes to bring beauty. Beyond the world's brand of beauty.

Godly beauty.

Heavenly purpose. 

Let me encourage you. If you are facing something hard, there's beauty to be found there.

There's purpose beyond your understanding.

Rest in the mess.

"Jesus never said it would be easy, but He said it would be worth it"

 Matthew 7:13-14

neat is over-rated,

jill

Do what you love.....

I love to write.

It's just in my blood.

If I have some extra minutes {like right this second}, I sit down, inhale, let out a big exhale, and write.

It's taken a long time for me to get back into the habit of doing what I love to do the most.

Probably because for a long time,  I was in denial of my passion for writing. It was something I did when I needed to let off some steam, relax, or heal from a wound.

I think my maternal grandmother was a writer. My momma has shown me some letters and notes that she penned in her beautiful form.

My momma is a writer as well. Her cards and notes convey the sweetest portion of her heart. Every single word is a glimpse of that heart.

I was just telling the Lord yesterday how thankful I am to live in this day and age. I thanked Him for choosing this period of time for me.

 I'm glad I live in a day and an age where I can type. It's cleaner. Neater. No white-out required.

My hearts desire is to write a bible study or devotional. It has been for a long, long time.

SHINE is the closest thing I have to fulfilling this dream for now.

I have so many thoughts that I think: "I need to jot this down. I need to remember this."

You know, those God moments where He is teaching and revealing and you can barely absorb the awesomeness of it all. Yes, those moments.

For now, I will just keep blogging my little heart away.

If you are reading this, I encourage you to do what you love. Do it as often as time allows.

God has given us these desires and these gifts for His purposes and plans. When in use, they set into motion the perfect harmony of His orchestra.

I imagine Him smiling every time I sit down to write. Giving back to Him what He has so generously given to me.

Are you fulfilling your hearts desires?  If not, what's stopping you?

sharpening my pencil--er, i mean charging my laptop,

jill

I'm good with the small.....

When I was a little girl and day-dreamed after day-dreamed of being a Mommy, I never realized just how hard it would be.

I envisioned aprons, flour on the countertops, pigtails, braids, baseball caps, clean smelling kid laundry, and all the fine things that come with being a Mommy.

Never did it cross my mind the emotional ties that children would have on your tender little heart.

I really don't know how people parent without calling on Jesus day in and day out. I really, really don't.

As much as my marriage has caused me to seek Him more, my children are what bring me to my knees to Him.

Perhaps it is because i feel so responsible for them. It's a huge thing. Huge.

I know that God is control of their little lives, but I have a big role in their lives too.

I must teach them. I must pray for them. I must pray with them. I must show them how to live, by how I live my life. Whew.

I take this job very seriously.

When I say "I", I mean "we". Lem and I.

I used to be very concerned about what my purpose was in life.

I would ask the Lord, day in and day out.  Day in, day out. Day in, day out.

Now, it's crystal clear.

My purpose is being Lem's wife and Joseph and Presley's Momma.

It's never been more clear.

As much as I love SHINE, and the ministry that comes with it--it's just a cherry on top to my real purpose in life.

My desires have absolutely changed. In just this past year.

I used to want to change the world.

Now, I just want to be the change for my children to see. My children are the ones that will be most affected by my life and my ministry.

My ministry in my home is the number one thing.

I can say that without hesitation.

My heart is content with small. Small things and small people. :)

It's funny how we look for our purpose in life, all the while, it is right under our little noses.

Sometimes the smallest things are the hardest to see.

We search high and low, and lo and behold, it is eye to eye and face to face, and cheek to cheek.

cherishing my {not so small} purpose,

jill

Sunday Sunday....

Hi! It's Sunday. We are in the mountains with family.

It is glorious.

Nothing to do.

No laundry.

No cooking. (Mama Jane handles all of that)

Kids playing.

Adults eating.

And eating.

And sleeping.

And eating some more.

Lem has agreed to take me into town to look around.

I'm a little giddy to have some QT with my man. It's been too long.

I love this time with my family. I am cherishing it. Every second.

Hope you are enjoying your day too.

Okay, gotta go. Falcons play at 3:00.

Gotta be on the couch by 2:30. Or so Lem tells me.

Rising up!

[Not really. I'm really lying in a comfy chair. Hee hee. :) ]

Happy Sunday!

Girl Talk.....

Let's talk some girly talk, shall we?

I love beauty products, I do. Some people spend money on purses, jewelry, home decor, etc. I spend my money on products. 

My friend Lisa and I just had this conversation about what we like, and what floats our little girlish boats. 

If I could spend a whole day in any store it would be Sephora. Or Ulta. I'll take either one. See, I'm not picky or high maintenance. 

Something about the idea of transformation {via beauty products} inspires me! 

I've tried most products. I have come to the age where I pretty much know what I like and what I don't. HOWEVER, I discover new products on a weekly basis. Seriously.

My sister and I will find ourselves in hours of conversation about new products we have discovered. Oh yeah. It's true.

I love talking to my girlfriends about what they like and what they use and LOVE! 

So, I have made a small list of my favorite things right now. 

Let me know some of your faves. Share the good stuff, will ya? 

gets the frizzy frizz out of my hair.
LOVE this stuff!
plus it's sulfate-free.
if your hair is really oily...
don't try this stuff. 

my friend, Danielle, recommended this mascara.
it's a HIT.
thanks, Danielle!

long time winner of best eye make up remover.
there is no other choice, people.
this is IT! :)

Okay, perfume smells different on different people. I get that.
BUT, this is good stuff. It's my fave.
I get it every year for Christmas.
With the exception of this year?
Hello, Lem?
So, any close relatives reading this...
you know what I want for my closely approaching birthday.
(this is a gift set. under 50 bucks.)
i'm worth it, right?

Friends, Family, and the Flu.....

What a memorable Christmas this has been.

Sick the week before Christmas. Not just sick, but flu sick. Gross.

Just when I start feeling better, Lem gets a stomach bug on Christmas Eve. Double gross.

As I look back, fully healthy now, I see a small purpose in it all.

I see how God used that time to slow me down. To hear His voice. To have compassion for the sick. (Like, big time.)

He saw me going 500 million miles per hour and He wanted to slow me down a bit. Show me some of His goodness.

He showed me a husband who is loving.

Children who are healthy.

Friends who bring chicken soup and butternut squash soup. And lots of love.

Sisters  who arrange for my kids to be picked up from my house and be swept away for a fun day so that I could lay here and be miserable on my own. Truly she worked a miracle. Still not sure how she arranged all that, but she did.

Momma's who go to their granddaughters school Christmas party because her baby girl was crying and sick in the bed. I will never be able to thank my Momma enough for this act of sweetness. It was so hard for me to NOT be at her Christmas party on the last day of school. SO HARD.

However, I have such peace because my precious Momma was able to fill in that gap for me. Oh, and Presley enjoyed every second with her. Perhaps, even preferred her Maw Maw to be there. I am so okay with that. :)

I was also able to spend some one on one time with my Joseph. He was sick as well, not with the flu, thank goodness. We watched movies, talked, laughed, and laughed some more. All in between our moanings and groanings.

I'm so grateful for good health. Lord knows I have a new perspective on a healthy body after the last few weeks.

I'm so grateful for my friends and family.

I'm so grateful that although our Christmas was a little different this year, it was all about Christ. His Love, His Mercy, His Grace. That was the focus this year. More than any other year before.

I have a new appreciation for things.

For that, the flu was worth it.

getting that flu shot next year,

jill

Out with the old, in with the new.....

Happy New Year Friends and Family!

May this year be FULL and OVERFLOWING

with God's BEST in your lives!

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; 

the old has gone, the new has come!” 

(2 Corinthians 5:17

a glimpse of our party animal selves. ;)