Hello, friends and family.
It has been a while.
A long while.
Joseph is in college. A freshman at University of Georgia.
Presley is a freshman in highschool.
Gulp.
I have found myself in this quiet-er place. Deafening quiet at times.
But, I am learning to live here. To enjoy it. To soak it in.
To listen to God.
To be still.
To stop trying to fill the void.
But, to instead be filled with Him.
In searching for a hobby or two...I always come back to this place.
To write.
To pour out.
To wring my heart of the words...the everything.
It is my joy.
It will always be.
Remind me of this often, ok?
My heart has been down over some things. I have struggled with the "why?'
I have struggled with the pity party of "where are you, Lord??"
Then, I sit on my back porch and see the birds playing and singing.
The cool air hitting me in my sullen face.
His reminder to me..."
I am here."
He never left me.
As I whine and mope and get caught up with the trivial things of life.....
I look up at the giant sky.
The expanse of His Creation.
And I realize how small I am.
How small these worries and concerns are.
These anxious thoughts and this desire to control outcomes of people...
How silly.
I so often feel like King David felt...
Spewing with faith and courage in one breath...
Then. curled up in a ball crying and complaining in the next breath.
Yet, God remains.
He never leaves.
He never will.
Children will leave.
Friends will leave.
Husbands will leave.
Yet, One thing remains....
Jesus.
There is beauty to behold. All around.
Yet, we close our hands into fists and refuse to partake...in the offering.
The offering brings the gift.
The gift of gratitude and joy.
But, we must unclench our fists...palms up.
And receive.
My dog is begging for a walk this cool morning...
I need it more than he does.
I need to be reminded of the vastness of His Creation....
He is infinitely wiser.
He is infinitely faithful.
I will keep writing to remind myself.....
jill
