Saturday, August 29, 2009

In search of Me....

The best way to describe it is like a big, fat roller coaster zooming around in your stomach, all the while looking for somewhere to screech it's loud brakes and park. That's one way to put into words how I am feeling lately. Both kids are at school, full time. Me, well, I am zooming around looking for a place to land.

Suddenly and abruptly, I feel myself needing to find a niche. A hobby so to speak, but one that can help pay the bills. Hmmm...good luck with that, right? My mind is in constant motion of what in the world I should do now. Am I good at anything?? Not really finding a definitive answer to that one. Really, I am not feeling sorry for myself, just telling the truth. I feel utterly out of sync with the job market, due to spending my last 8 years on diaper duty so to speak. Daycare working has crossed my mind a few times, just because it fits the bill with my training.

Mommyhood is all i know, and really all i care to know. It's just that with today's economy, i really need to expand my horizons a bit. I made a list of things " that I am good at", then i crossed it off and made a list of "things I like to do".
Here is the list of things I like to do:

~being a mommy
~taking care of my household duties
~ hair, makeup and any kind of beauty treatment on the planet

Well, so what now?

In the meantime of" finding myself", I am in the process of being a substitute teacher at the kids schools. It's a start, I guess.

With my love for all things hair, I also spoke with my hair dresser, and asked her about helping out in the salon. She said I could, but probably not until October. Hmm. Okay, so, now i wait.

I know that God has a plan for me, I am just ready for the "reveal". Impatience is knocking at my heart and I'm sincerely trying not to answer.

Meanwhile, you will find me in my usual spot. I am comfortable here, but comfortable is not always a good thing. Ambitious, resourceful, industrious, ardent, and determined are the adjectives I am striving for here in my job pursuit. It's scary, very scary for me to think of doing anything other that what i have been doing for so long. I am happy here. However, I can't help but see the wave of change in the horizon, cresting, and coming ashore.

I found a verse that hits home with my emotions at the moment...

"All you who put your hope in the Lord, be strong and brave", Psalm 31:24

Strong and brave are not knocking at my door, but I am looking through the peep hole anxiously awaiting.

still searching,


Friday, August 21, 2009

The apple doesn't fall very far....

Our wonderful neighbors invited us to come swimming this week after school. It was a Tuesday afternoon...homework was done, dinner was warming, and the house was semi-clean. What the heck...sure, we will join you for a swim.Why not.

The Sewell's have become dear friends of ours. Their son, Tristin, is 10 yrs old, and their daughter, Slylar, is 8 years old. Joseph and Presley have come to love playing every afternoon with them. Before they moved in we had to force the kids to go outside. There was just not really anyone to play with..that was their age anyway. Well now, another story. Tristin and Skylar are more like cousins to Joseph and Presley. They LOVE playing together.

Well, I have been noticing that Joseph really seems to like playing with the little girl, Skylar, more than the little boy. They just have fun together. She is very much a tom-boy and loves to get dirty with the rest of them. She is just adorable. Joseph, I think, agrees. ;)

Where am I going with this, you ask? Okay, I'm getting there. So, we agree to come swimming with them on Tuesday afternoon. The kids put on their swimsuits with the speed of a lightning bolt. Excited, to say the least.

As Presley and I walk down our driveway to our neighbors house, we notice Joseph is not with us. Huh? He was just with us coming out the door. Hmmm. I look behind me and see him on the hard pavement of our driveway doing push-ups. Yes, push-ups. His face is etched into that of a trained fighter getting ready for his next match. His eyes are closed and he is grunting loudly.

I am startled. "Joseph, what are you doing darlin'??" No answer.

"Joseph, are you okay? Are you doing......push-ups?"

"Yes, yes, Mommy. You know, just like Daddy does before we go down to the beach. He always does push-ups to look more buff."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I asked him who he wanted to look buff for, and he nonchalantly said...."uh, nobody."

My boy is growing up.

not sure if i am ready for this,


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

No looking back....

School started last week, pictures to come. My week and a half has been quite full. Missing my babies, but loving be able to get everything done..well mostly anyway. It's kind of strange not having Presley by my side and asking me questions, and being her sweet little self. I can't ponder on it too long, or I will have a meltdown. I am waiting for this to happen..I have to force myself not to go there in my head.

I miss them being at school. It seems so unnatural. They are both doing great, better than me. I guess that's the way it should be, right?? It's continually hard to let go and let them grow up. It's the way God designed it. But why does it have to be do darn hard?? I picture them in my mind as babies, and I guess they always will be to me. I try to think of the excitement of watching them grow up and experiencing new things, but it's really hard. I just want them under my wing, protecting them from the world.

Be back soon..

holding back the tears and trying not to look back,


Thursday, August 6, 2009

Eight is Great....

~Your birthday party at Pump it Up...from left..Tom, Presley, William, John, Anna-Joy, Jane and Danny. You are the handsome little man in the back! :)
~My little beach hunk
~Watch out, here he comes!
~Cutie pie!
~Enjoying your friends and family at Pump it Up
~You and Royce at Pump it Up

Happy Birthday Joseph Lemuel Hill! Here are some things that you did this year as a 7 year old...

~played soccer for Fall and Spring LOVE soccer!

~ride your bike very well through the neighborhood

~made some new friends in the neighborhood..Tristin and Skylar

~started and finished 2nd grade...Mrs. Chapman was your teacher

~you won a reading contest at school and they awarded you a bike! your picture was in the newspaper

~your picture was also in the newspaper for dressing up as Tony Hawk at are getting pretty famous!

~you had your first friend from school spend the night at your house...Alex

~you went took your first plane ride this Summer

~you went out of the country on your first plane ride to Italy!

~you drank red wine and didn't like it

~you climbed to the top of the leaning tower of Pisa.

~you took your first taxi Italy.

~you lost more teeth.

~you had your first cavity this year (2 actually)

~you went camping for the first the back yard!

~your favorite thing right now is Transformers (again) and Bionicles

~you got a WII for your birthday!

~you finally got to have a birthday party at Pump it have been asking for years!

~you love to tell have a very keen sense of humor

~you have discovered that you enjoy dancing...and you are good at it!

~your birthday was on the first day of school this year...again. :)

~Most asked Jesus to live in your heart last November. You said that you feel so safe since you asked Him to live in your heart forever.

~After that you wrote to Santa and the only thing you asked for was to be baptized. Your wish was fulfilled Sunday March 29th by Pastor Scott Moore at Eastridge Community Church.

I can't wait to see what this year holds for you! Eight is GREAT!!

Joseph, you are the best son that a Mother could ask for. I love every inch of you. You make me laugh, you make me smile, you make me the happiest Mommy in the world. My favorite thing in the world is being with you, Presley and Daddy. Thank you for being so obedient to your parents. God has put a heart of pure gold inside of you, and I am so thankful.

you have my heart in your little hands,