The Secret Prayer....

My husband and I share many intimate conversations together. Things that we discuss just between the two of us that are special and treasured. We dream about our future, and the future of our children together. We express concerns and observations of things happening around us. This openness creates a secret and rare vulnerability between us that I cannot put into words.

These talks are sacred between the two of us. Many of the things on my heart, I have never shared with another living soul. They are meant to be kept between the bond, the unity, and the love between the two of us. When we took an oath before God on our wedding day to be submitted to one another, our spirits became one. God sees us as one as well. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Romans 8:26

Our prayer life is the same. When we approach the Father in prayer, it is a time of deep intimacy and lavish openness of our hearts to His. We express things, even if not spoken in words, they are expressed through the groaning of our spirits.The bible tells us in Romans 8:26, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans."

Jesus teaches us about the power of prayer in secret. Not just prayer in secret, but the power of giving in secret, and fasting in secret. Take a look at Matthew 6 verses 6-18. Here's an excerpt...

6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 

So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 

When reading God's word, hang onto things you see repeated over and over again. Make note it it, and store it up in your heart. Like a good Father to his children, He reminds us so we will not forget.

In my own personal prayer life, I have seen the power of prayer in secret several times over the last few years. Honestly, I didn't even realize the prayer was in secret at the time. These requests were just so deep and so personal in my spirit, that I kept them between the Father and me.

One experience that I will share from a couple of years ago is that of a prayer over my husband. It was regarding a trip he wanted to go on with some friends. He would be gone several days and something in my spirit just was not at peace about it. I never told him my concerns. Instead, I took my concerns to prayer.

I wasn't sure why I was so hesitant about this trip for him, but I was. I asked God to grant me peace for him to leave if His will was for Lem to go on the trip. I also reached out to three friends and asked them to please pray for an unspoken request for me and my family.

At the time, I wasn't sure of my motives for wanting him to stay home. I wanted to be clear the motives were not selfish, so I spared sharing the details with my praying friends. I just asked them to pray.

About a month later, my husband came to me and told me that the trip he was planning on going on had fallen apart. Nothing was working out for he and his friends to be able to go.

Bewildered, I gasped out loud.

I could not even believe it.

God had answered this prayer, and I knew it was only God that could have made the details come together for the trip to not take place.

I never did tell him that I had prayed about that trip. The things that God had done were so personal and so intimate and so intricate, I wanted to keep it between He and I. Also, I did not want for one second for Lem to think that I had prayed him out of going. It would have put a shadow on future trips he wanted to take with the fellas, and I did not want the enemy getting a foothold there.

I love when Lem is able to get away with his friends to hike and camp. I love it because he loves it. It makes him smile, and it makes him excited! So, not for one second did I want him to think that I had manipulated the situation for him not to be able to go.

Another time that God answered a secret prayer was one I love to share to anyone who will listen. If you have heard it, I apologize in advance.

A few years ago I was running out of my favorite skincare line. I had purchased it for myself  from some money I had received for my birthday months before. I loved it so much and I wanted to order a whole new set! The cost would be...a LOT. Way over our budget. Especially for fancy skincare.

I had rationalized in my head that I deserved to get it. I specifically remember thinking, "This is the ONLY thing I splurge on. I deserve this for myself. Plus, I will save my husband on a face lift because my skin will be firmer due to this awesome skincare line." 

Eek!

I logged on to the website to order this outrageously expensive skincare. I had everything I needed [wanted] in my cart online. I scrambled for my credit card to put it all on there, praying that the bill would not come for at least 30 days. I wasn't ready for a fight with the hubby any time soon.

I began to type in the numbers, and I stopped. Conviction seized me. I couldn't do it. My husband had clearly marked our budget boundaries just that very week, and this was not even close to being in the equation.

Shoot.

I logged off of the site feeling sad and feeling sorry for myself.

Silently, I prayed that God would forgive me for almost stepping into disobedience.

Are you ready for what happened next?

The very next day, a friend called me on the phone.

She asked me if I would like a bunch of skincare that she had purchased a few weeks ago. She said she did not really like it, but she didn't want to go to the expense and the effort to send it all back. Plus, she knew I was a huge fan of that particular skincare.

YES!! I would love to take this off of your hands!

I was beyond elated.

Y'all that afternoon, I went to pick up the skincare she had left in her car for me at her work. It was DOUBLE what I had planned ordering online the day before. DOUBLE. There were even some items that I wanted to get, but knew there was no way I could at that time.

I was absolutely blown away. That big gold bag of skincare was a gift from my Father.

He heard my secret prayer. I didn't even really ask Him, I just asked Him to forgive me for disobedience. Yet, He knows the desires of our hearts, doesn't He?

I share these things to encourage you that the Father loves to lavish us. He loves to be one on one with you in the secret place of prayer. Just the two of you.

In my case, those secret times of prayer have built my faith stronger. I think if I would have asked a lot of people to pray, I would have missed out on a chance in intimacy with my Father. In my flesh, I may have thought that it was certainly not because of my feeble prayers that it was answered. I would have not felt the same intimacy with Him, I believe.

Please don't for one second think that asking for prayer or group praying is not powerful. It is!

Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. Matthew 18:19

However, I do believe that there is a time for intimacy as well. A place and time to pray secretly those deep groans and desires. He will lead us how to pray, and with whom to share our prayers, we just need to ask Him.

I have learned in these secret prayers with my Father, that He is most concerned about the well-being of my spirit. My faith and belief are of the greatest concern to Him. More than a prayer being answered, it is about my oneness with Him. The intimacy that develops when I share my heart, my desires, my confessions of sin, and my whole being with Him. It is the power of what happens during that process that ends up being the greatest miracle. The answer to the prayer is just the icing.

What is it that you need to approach your Heavenly Father about today? Oh, friend, go to Him. Go to a secret place and pour your heart out to Him. Believe that He hears you. Believe that He will answer. 

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8


praying secrets,


jill

Divide and be Conquered....

“Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand." Matthew 12:25

The best way to describe it is a restlessness within my spirit. A severe awareness of some enormous spiritual warfare taking place in our homes. Right under our own roofs.

We MUST do something.

Do you know that the enemy's plan is to divide and conquer? Do you know that the best way that the enemy can spread evil and his plan is by first getting a foothold into our families? Once he divides us, he is more easily able to conquer us.

Think about something for a minute...

Are there family members in your life that you do not speak to? Is there division of any kind in your family? Do you see the enemy's tactic here? Divide and destroy.

Jesus tells us this: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

We must not be deceived any longer! We must open our eyes to the enemy's tactics and LIES. He is a thief. He is a liar. He is a destroyer.

There's a war raging around us. A battle for our hearts! A battle for our loyalties! A battle of our marriages! A battle for our children! A battle for our families! We think the battle is overseas, so we worry, we pray, we fear the enemy coming here.

The evil is here. Fighting to get into our homes. Dividing us even on spiritual issues. Dividing us on every level. How can we show love to a dying world when we cannot show love to those living under our own roofs? How can we show love to a dying world when we hate our neighbors?

The greatest tool we have to fight evil is to LOVE like Christ. It starts here. In our houses. In our neighborhoods. In our churches. If we are not loving those around us, how can we ever love the world?

I think we get it backwards sometimes. We want world peace, yet we live at war with our spouses, our children, our family members, our neighbors. This is contrary to God's will for us.

There is a lack of love going on. We are becoming immune to our fellow brothers and sisters. We want to be right. At the expense of showing the love of Christ. If we are not careful we become Pharisees. Knowing the law, quoting the law, but forgetting the greatest command of all....to Love.

Are we heeding this call?

Or are we letting our flesh and pride win these battles. All the while the enemy takes on another win--another family.

Another way the enemy wins is by distracting us. Distracting us from our marriages, our children, our homes. We are lured away, just like our sister Eve. The enemy uses different tactics to lure. He watches us to see what will draw our hearts away from home. Be sure that he knows you. He watches you, and he is always waiting for an opportunity to lure you away from your home.

We must know what our children are up to. What are they doing in their rooms? Who are their friends? Who are they talking to and texting with day after day? The enemy is subtle. He will come in ways that we never expect. We must be watchful.

If the enemy cannot get a foothold into our marriages, he will go straight for our children.

We must stand strong. Be present. Be diligent and wide-eyed about the battle for our family.

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13

If you don't think the enemy is after your family, think again. He is out to destroy you.

What do we do?

Jesus tells us this: "Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” Luke 10:19

Pray like Jesus.

Love like Jesus.

Speak Truth like Jesus.


Love is only powerful and effective when combined with Truth. Jesus was the perfect combination of love and truth. The Pharisees before him were bent on law, not love. Jesus came to fulfill the law with LOVE and TRUTH.

We are not loving like Jesus if we are not speaking truth to those around us. Not the world's kind of truth either. Not truth's based on our opinions or on pop culture.

God warns us in Revelation 3:16: So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

Aren't we being luke warm when we insist on love without truth? Aren't we avoiding the truth to make a more comfortable path for us and them?

God's Word is the only truth. Our opinions mean nothing. It's His Word that stands True. The only rock that holds. We must stop [myself included in a HUGE way], reading people's opinions and thought online. These words have the power to infuriate us or appease us. We must read what God says. What does God say about this? We are seriously misled when we jump on a bandwagon of hatred. This is not right, y'all. This grieves the Holy Spirit.

 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matthew 22:37-39

Pretty simple here:  Love God. Love your neighbor.

We cannot sit idly by and water down His Word thinking we are showing love. This is not Christ-like Love.

Are we loving each other enough speak truth? Or are we walking on egg shells around hard issues because we don't want to come across as judgemental.

We are not the judge. God is the only Judge.

God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor? James 4:12

Our job is to love like Jesus. Speak Truth like Jesus.

People want to hear truth. Our spirits were designed for God's Truth to resonate.

Be clear that the enemy has all of our families on his target. He is out to divide and conquer. With lies. Big, seething lies.

The good news is that "He who lives within us is greater than he that is within the world!"1 John 4:4

Love until it hurts. Speak the truth of His Word even when it's uncomfortable. They are not our words anyway, they are His. His Words will never return void.

The battle belongs to the Lord.

We can rest in that.

On my back porch.....

Sometimes life moves so fast that we miss the little things. The things that we think will always be there.

Tonight, Lem and I had a rare few hours on the back porch together. Presley is away at a friend's house, and Joseph was inside reading a good book.

The days in our house are crazy and busy, and we are constantly running from one place to another. I hardly ever get to see my husband. And when I do, we are both tired, exasperated, and ready to go unwind. He unwinds by the television, I unwind by going to sleep. :)

Another day goes by, another moment in time passed.

We awake the next day to another dizzying life.

Here's the thing....

I know all of this is fleeting. It goes by so fast.

At times my heart gets so jolted by this realization that it can make me crumble. I have always been so utterly aware of these moments. These little moments in life that we sometimes miss because of the busy.

I hate busy.

Yet, tonight, in the quiet, in the dark, on the back porch....

I longed for busy.

I longed to hear Presley's voice asking me to help her with something.

I longed to hear all about Joseph's cool new book, or a story from his day at school.

I longed to hear little Danny's excited voice running through the house as he chases Presley and Joseph.

The quiet was too quiet. 

Lem was with me, so it wasn't that quiet, but it was deafening compared to our usual life.

I sat there, talking to Lem, with a huge lump in my throat.

I love our life. I love our family.

There is nothing that I want more than to be present in each moment with them. Every single moment.

The little things suddenly become the big things.

The only things, really.

I used to have such big dreams for my life. When my children get older I will ___________.

I don't remember those dreams anymore, nor do I want to.

I just want to live where I am....forever. Or until God calls me home.

Seasons change, things change. I know this.

However, I want to look back on each season with a smile that I lived it fully. Fully present.

As God would have it, my friend sent me a sweet note in the mail today.

She wrote this: "choosing to do the small things with GREAT love is what changes people's lives. Never stop, never quit....the little things are ALWAYS the BIG things."

How did God know I needed those words today?

He always does, doesn't He?

As the dark grew deeper out on that back porch tonight, Lem took my hand and asked me to dance with him.

I obliged.

With a lump in my throat, we started to dance.

It was one of those little moments, that will be remembered as a big moment.


Thank you, Father, for this life. Thank you for making my childhood dreams come true. Being a wife, being a mother.....these are the BIG things. 

Hill-Ramsey Celebration....

 

This weekend we celebrated the marriage of Mama Jane and Mr. Rick.

 

We had the best time!

 

Fun, family, friends, and LOVE!

 

What is better than that?

 

Enjoy the Hill-Ramsey Wedding pictures!

 

We love you, Jane & Rick!

 

5-17-2014

 

 

 

A letter to the girls...The married kind.....

celebrating on a little mountain get-away..
courtesy of Rick and Jane. ;)

On September 26th, Lem and I celebrated 15 years of marriage. {how can this be?}

Just a few thoughts on the subject.....

Our marriage is not perfect. In fact, it is far from it.

I am not always in a good mood. {neither is he.}

I am not always cheery. {neither is he}

Some days are hard. Well, many days actually.

My temper and my tongue go haywire at times. {still working on this one}

He has better control over this than I do. {shoot}

If I am honest, I will tell you that marriage is not easy. It teaches me to be a giver, and not always a taker.

I've discovered that when I give, and not always demand my own way, he tends to be more of a giver.

Sounds crazy, right?

My body is not the same, my face is not the same {it has a lot more lines}. However, Lem accepts me and loves me and makes me feel the same.

I have tried to change him, to mold him, to create the "husband" I think he should be.

This does not work.

Let me repeat: This does not work.

When I learned to approach this "without words", as 1 Peter 3:1 tells us, things started changing.

When I learned to quit nagging, persisting, insisting, and demanding he change....

His ears could finally hear the Holy Spirit.

The clanging in his ears from my voice was preventing the Holy Spirit's Voice from being heard.

I thought I was doing the right thing all of those years...

When, in fact, I just had to trust the Lord with him. I had to learn to realize that God loves Lem more than me. I had to realize that God could change him, but I could not.

The biggest revelation was that I was the one in need of change. {say what?!}

My heart was in the wrong place. Always demanding, expecting, and not content unless he was doing what I wanted him to do.

I wanted him to do a bible study, he did not want to.

I wanted to be more involved in church, he did not want to.

I wanted to make him have quiet time with me, he did not want to.

I wanted him to read the bible with me, he did not want to.

I wanted him to quit drinking alcohol, he did not want to.

I wanted him to be like some of my friends godly husbands {and I even told him that many times}, he did not want to.

Notice the first word in each of the above sentences??

Yes, I. Me, myself, and I.

When I let go of my expectations, and focused on my own walk, my own relationship with Christ....

Something incredible happened.

My heart softened. My heart changed.

Not only that, but the icing on the cake was that Lem started to change.

God began to draw us closer, when I stepped back and let the Lord do His thing.

Who knew??

As women, we like to have control over things. We like to tie things up in a pretty little ribbon just the way we like them.

However, what He is showing me....

Is that when I let go. Give Him complete control. Surrender.....

All of those things I try to super glue together.... fall apart.

And the most glorious thing happens....

He turns that mess into a masterpiece.

He sees the act of surrender and obedience, and then He is able to do His Will. His Thing. His Perfect Plan begins to take place.

If you are in a marriage today that is struggling for air, on the brink of separation, in dire need of refreshing....

I encourage you to give it to Him.

Forget about trying in your own power to change things. It doesn't work. Never has and never will.

Surrender that marriage to the Lord. It's His to begin with anyway, right?

I also encourage you to be the change you want for him.

Yes, YOU be the change.

What do you want from your husband?

Be what you want him to be. Be consistent. Don't do it to force a change in him, do it because that's what God calls you to do.

This has nothing to do with your man. This has everything to do with Jesus Christ. Honoring Him. Period.

"Love never fails", my friends.

It will always be the right way.

I will still struggle with my expectations. I will still struggle with demanding my way.

However, I now know that nothing will change, unless I change.

Let me remember this, Father. Help us all to remember.

"We can be confident that He will listen to us whenever we ask Him for anything in line with His will." 1 John 5:14

"Ask anything in My name, and I will do it." John 14:14

"Call upon me and I will answer you" Jeremiah 33:3

"Above all else, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8

"God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble" 1 Peter 5:5


Father, soften our hearts. Help us to not be demanding, selfish, and self-focused in our marriage. Show us how to love without conditions and expectations. The kind of Love that You show us. Help us to put our men first, above all others, except You Lord. Give us the desire to be a better spouse. Give us the desire to be a giver, and not a taker. We ask that you weed out pride, and replace it with humility. Praise You, Father. You want our marriages rock solid, Father. Mend our hearts, repair the breeches, and nurse us back to health in these areas. Forgive us for not showing love. Forgive us for anything we have put before our marriages. Fall fresh on us today, Holy Spirit. We receive.



putting the super-glue away,


jill

4 Days late and always at least a dollar short....

Day late and a dollar short on my birthday man's post. 

Oops.

My plate is a little full these days. 

Rest assured, he was well celebrated.

He's finally 38!

 He caught up with me.

Yes, he's younger. 

But, only by a hair. 

No pun intended, darlin.

I love this young dude.

He's still hot.

I remember when I first met him.

He was so different than any other boy.

His country little accent....oh, I still swoon.

{Except when he's mad at me for overspending. No swooning then}

I love Lem's confidence. 

It's sexy to me.

He makes me feel beautiful. 

{even when I'm not feeling it even an ounce}

He loves me.

I love him.

We just fit.

Plus, we have cute kiddos.

One of each of us.

Joseph looks like me, acts like me, and loves to read like me.

Presley looks like Lem, acts JUST like Lem, and hates to read like Lem.

See?

We have duplicated ourselves.

{Scary thought}

Lord, help them. 

In all sincerity. 

this is how i feel after forgetting to do Lem's birthday post.
{my tongue needs help. really, it does.}

Here he is...my birthday boy!
This is us in the car on a pre-birthday date night.
Yeah, I swoon.
See?

Joseph gives Daddy the thumbs up on his big day.
He's a little sweaty.
We had just finished a 30 minute run.
In 92 degree heat.
I sweat just remembering it.
Ooh.

Presley made his birthday breakfast.
be still my heart.
she does this for me too on my big day.
i love her.

sushi was the birthday boy's dinner.
i think we enjoyed it, what do you think.


Happy Birthday, Lem!
I sure love you!
{even after all these birthdays!}
wink, wink

Easter Love.....

Happy Easter 2013!

"And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit. 

At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. The tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. 

They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus' resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many people"

Matthew 27:50-53

Friends, Family, and the Flu.....

What a memorable Christmas this has been.

Sick the week before Christmas. Not just sick, but flu sick. Gross.

Just when I start feeling better, Lem gets a stomach bug on Christmas Eve. Double gross.

As I look back, fully healthy now, I see a small purpose in it all.

I see how God used that time to slow me down. To hear His voice. To have compassion for the sick. (Like, big time.)

He saw me going 500 million miles per hour and He wanted to slow me down a bit. Show me some of His goodness.

He showed me a husband who is loving.

Children who are healthy.

Friends who bring chicken soup and butternut squash soup. And lots of love.

Sisters  who arrange for my kids to be picked up from my house and be swept away for a fun day so that I could lay here and be miserable on my own. Truly she worked a miracle. Still not sure how she arranged all that, but she did.

Momma's who go to their granddaughters school Christmas party because her baby girl was crying and sick in the bed. I will never be able to thank my Momma enough for this act of sweetness. It was so hard for me to NOT be at her Christmas party on the last day of school. SO HARD.

However, I have such peace because my precious Momma was able to fill in that gap for me. Oh, and Presley enjoyed every second with her. Perhaps, even preferred her Maw Maw to be there. I am so okay with that. :)

I was also able to spend some one on one time with my Joseph. He was sick as well, not with the flu, thank goodness. We watched movies, talked, laughed, and laughed some more. All in between our moanings and groanings.

I'm so grateful for good health. Lord knows I have a new perspective on a healthy body after the last few weeks.

I'm so grateful for my friends and family.

I'm so grateful that although our Christmas was a little different this year, it was all about Christ. His Love, His Mercy, His Grace. That was the focus this year. More than any other year before.

I have a new appreciation for things.

For that, the flu was worth it.

getting that flu shot next year,

jill

Desires and such....

So, I don't write on here as much as I used to because I write on SHINE every day. I am so grateful that the Lord has given me a place to write my heart! Never in a million years did I imagine this opportunity.

I remember several years ago longing to do a bible study with my friends. A study that we could all do together. Of course, my friends lived in different places, had different schedules, and it just was not possible to meet to study the Bible.

Desire after desire, longing after longing, my heart ached for something MORE. I remember telling Lem all year last year that something was coming. I felt it in my soul. I felt God had something for us.

Lem would always smile and appease me. Truth be told he probably thought I was going crazy.

I remember pouring through the Bible looking for answers to what this burning in my heart was about. I was desperate to fast forward to where God wanted me to be.

Hope was my theme for last year. Everywhere I turned, everywhere I looked I saw the word Hope.

It was God's way of telling me to keep the Hope in my heart, something was coming, I just had to trust Him.

I did trust Him. However, I was impatient. I wanted to know what this burning and anticipation was.

He was not ready to show me.

Last Fall was one of the hardest times of my life. I fell into a deep dark place. Anxiety, depression, all that fun stuff. I could literally feel the enemy trying to smother me. It felt like he was sitting on my chest.

I didn't understand what was happening. I felt so close to the Lord. I felt so in tune with Him. Why was I feeling this way?

Looking back, I see that God was growing my dependence on Him. I think He wanted to see if I was truly ready for what He had in store for my life. I think in a way, He was burning off a lot of flesh and a lot of "Jill-ish" ways that needed to be done with.

It was so painful. It felt like that season lasted forever.

Until one day, the clouds cleared. The sun came out and I literally felt warmth fill my body.

God had never left me, but He wanted me to trust Him even when I couldn't feel Him. Oh, so hard. So hard.

Now, I find myself putting on His armor daily. Even days when I don't "feel" like I need it. On days when things seem fine, I sit down and go to His Word anyway. I cannot ever take it off. The enemy gets a foothold quickly as soon as we drop our guard. Trust me on this one.

I have a lot more to say, but my daughter is beckoning me to watch her dance. So, I will stop. :)

grateful for His love,

jill

Losing my mind & my keys....

So, this week I have already:

• lost Presley's brand new Nike tennis shoes (which i finally found..IN HER CLOSET)
• lost my CAR KEYS! hello?! who does this? (still haven't found those)
• forgot to deposit a check that REALLY needed to be deposited
• spent too much on some make-up (oh, and I knew better) (see above sentence)

I hope I am not the only one that feels like her head is spinning around in circles. 

The funny thing is: I have such peace through it all. I feel God's presence with me, even in the midst of the chaos.

He is so good like that. The calm in the storm. Always.

My head may continue spinning, but my heart will stay steadfast on Him. It will never leave.

Okay, back to looking for some car keys. 

hoping i don't lose my second set,

jill

Our week in pics 8/12-8/19......

Our week in pictures. 

my favorite girl and me

danny and presley. 2 peas in a backseat

"look mommy, i look just like you!"

our fun friday faces

my favorite new shoes. gap clearance. 7.99. BAM!

beka, me, elan, and mary celebrating bek and mare's birthdays!

elan (my little sis--not really, but kinda), pres and me.

friday night date night! hello, sushi!

My Lem....

If Lem were my child, in keeping with birthday traditions,  I would list all of the things that he learned this year. Good thing he's not! :-)

Since he is my husband and my best friend, I will tell you what I love about him.

Here goes:

His laugh
His legs
His chest
His shoulders
His smile
His LIPS
His eyes (they were the first thing I ever noticed about him!)
His sense of humor
His compassion
His love for the Lord
His family
His love for his children
His love for me
His character
Did i mention his sense of humor?

I could go on, and on, and on.

My friend, Ashley, just recently told me that she thought that Lem was so funny. I smiled, because I kind of forget that other people think he's funny too!

I am selfish with him, so I never really think about the way others may see him. I LOVED that she pointed this out. It reminded me of just how blessed I am with this man!

We are so silly together.

He brings out the very best in me.

I like when he is proud of me. Like, when I save money, or do something out of my comfort zone, or run a 5k...it makes me so happy to see that sparkle in his eye!

I love to be curled up right beside him. At a dinner party, at home, in the car...wherever.

I love sleeping in his white t-shirts. So does Presley.

He used to get so mad when I would get them out of his drawer. Now, he just says..."Don't get my good ones. Get my old ones."

Haha!

I think I smother him at times.

It's okay, I'm good with that.

I love my Lem forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever....

jill

Gratitude changes my attitude....

After this past weekends hormone pity party, I have had a fresh wave of JOY from the Lord. I think sometimes He leads us down that path, just to show us how desperate we really are for Him.

It's easy to not realize how much we need Him when things are going well, and life is easy. When life gets hard and relationships are tested....that's when we fall to our knees crying for our Savior.

Lem and I were talking early this morning about helping someone in need today. Not financially necessarily, but just being available to someone today.

We both prayed that God would put someone in our path to listen to today. Someone who needs a little attentiveness.

How many times have I been so grateful to talk to a friend at just the right moment...as if God had placed her right there at that very second to give me a word from Him. 

He does that!

We just have to keep our eyes open and be aware of His leading at all times.

I emailed some friends challenging them to thank 3 people in their lives for their impact and influence over them. What a difference a grateful heart makes!

It's truly healing. I speak from experience.

The times when I am wrapped up in my own self and my own emotions, is when God shows me to focus on someone else's needs.

He then fills my heart with Joy.

Every single time.

I challenge you to tell 3 people how thankful you are for them. Be specific. Let God lead you.

He will.

with a full heart,

Jill

the love of my life

my whole world...captured in this single picture.

Hormones and Christmas trees....

Wow.

It's been a while since I have even logged on my blog. I feel guilty.

Of course, I guess it's not something to feel guilty about when you are busy just living your life.

If I ever have time to sit down and write...it's just a huge bonus. Really, it is.

So, what's new with me?

Hmm.

Well, the Love Dare has ended. It was really fun. I am trying to live it out daily...some days are better than others.

So, what else is new...hmmm.

Well, I am convinced that I am perimenopausal. Not to be confused with menopausal.

My hormones are way crazy and I think Lem is convinced he married a loony toon.

He may be right.

On a serious note, I do think something happens in your body when you hit your mid-thirties. Things just are NOT the same.

I can be hysterically laughing in one breath, and hysterically crying in the next. Yes, hormonal.

Poor Lem.

Today was an example of hormones out of control.

The first half of the morning, I was grumpy, moody...and well, just not nice. (and I'm putting that mildly)

However, as soon as we got into the car to go and pick out a Christmas tree, I was singing, laughing, and miss jolly-molly.

Again, poor Lem.

I don't know why our hormones go haywire...but I am convinced my body is not my own most days.

Prayer-and a lot of it- seems to be the most help.

One day I will look back on these days and laugh...I am sure of it.

For now, I will just accept these hormone fluctuations for what they are...and deal with it. I am sure I am not the only 36 year old with hormone issues. Am I?

Since I am in good cheer as of this very moment...I will post pictures from our Christmas tree excursion today.

This is our first REAL tree in 6 years! I finally convinced Lem to get a real one this year. He gave in...reluctantly.

I hope this will be our new tradition...going to Jack's tree farm the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Followed by a trip to Wendy's for 3 chocolate frosties..and one vanilla (for Presley).

I know!! Who wants a vanilla frostie?? Yuck.

I love traditions. I always will.

trying to decide if this one is worthy of purchase.

only in Georgia does it get hot picking out Christmas trees.

my manly man putting the tree in the back of the truck. grrr!

ta da!!! we have a tree ladies and gentleman.

hormonally challenged,

jill

I dare you to love...

I was mopping my floor yesterday and thinking about my husband. Our anniversary is approaching and I was in deep thoughtful prayer about how blessed I am to have a husband like Lem.

Many, many days I take him for granted. Sad, but so true.

I decided to create my own love dare for him.  I had followed the Love Dare book 2 years ago and it produced wonderful results in our marriage. Since then I have loaned the book out...and have no idea who I loaned it to. Oops. 

I invited my friends to participate on this journey with me. So far, 24 friends are on board. They are very kind to let me just wing this. I have no idea what activities lie ahead of us, but I am praying fervently for God's direction....and for their input!

My heart has a long way to go in the marriage department. I wanted my friends along with me for the accountability and encouragement. I need it. The most.

Our marriages need to be strong so we can build strong families. It's God's desire.

I need all the help I can get.

So, yesterday was our Day 1. The dare was to leave a note on our spouse's pillow telling him your very favorite thing about him.

Today I sent this email for our Day 2. I will try to post these on my blog as we go.  If you really want to jump in with us, I can also send you an email if you will share your email address with me.

Jump in! I dare you...

 Day 2:

Good morning! Thank you again for doing this with me. I KNOW you will be blessed on this journey. Some days will definitely be harder than others because of how we are feeling that day. Some days we will not want to show love to our spouses because we are mad, moody, bitter, etc..or all of the above like me! :) However, God commands us to love even when our flesh tells us different. This is exactly what sets us apart as Christians.


I did the Love Dare book 2 years ago and God restored some brokenness in my heart while I was doing the dare.Lem had no idea that I was doing the book, and some days it was hard. I stayed the course and our marriage was blessed because of obedience. I have slid a long way back since coming to that point, so that's why I want to do this again. For my own heart.

You may come to a point while doing this when you will say to yourself.."What about ME?" I came to that point too...Many days! (and i still do!)

However, if we believe God's word then we know that He will bless our marriages when we are obedient to God's calling to love. We will see the fruit of our obedience. His word never returns void.

Again, I will not be following the book this time...because I have loaned it out. We will just kind of be winging this! However, some of the activities that are still fresh in my mind we may do.

So, today is Thursday and today's dare is this:

**Pray for your spouse all day today. Don't pray for him to change (which is tempting!)...but instead thank God for your spouse. Tell God how grateful and thankful you are for the spouse He hand-picked for YOU. When you are in the shower, drying your hair, in the long carpool line, cooking dinner...whatever it is...pray prayers of thanksgiving to God for your man. Spill your heart to God about how much you love your man and how thankful you are for him. (even if you are not feeling too loving...thank God anyway.)**

Not only will this draw our hearts closer to our husbands by praying for them, but it will in turn draw us closer to God. A double whammy! Yay!

"In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

I'm praying for you. Let's go show some LOVE!

with a thankful heart,

jill

Marrying up....

the night Lem proposed to me-Feb. 6th 1998

I definitely married up.

I always tell people that I am the lucky one in this marriage. Poor Lem. I know he had NO idea what he was getting into when he married this 23 year old blond-haired-mess-of-a girl. Goodness knows, he has probably wondered what in the world he was thinking.

We will be married 13 years on the 26th of September. A lot has changed since that day. We have changed. Life has changed.

For the better.

Lem makes me a better person. Pure and simple. His heart is always in the right place. Mine, not so much. He never, ever, ever says a bad thing about anyone. Ever. Me, on the other hand, well...that's another story.

Sometimes it makes me mad because he is always so good. Like, when I want to vent about something and he just calmly says, "It'll be alright." Ugggh. Not exactly what I want to hear.

But, exactly what I need to hear.

15 years ago when we met, I was drawn to his blond locks, blue eyes, good looks, and rolling on the floor with laughter charm and wit. He was different than any other boy I had ever known. Something about his southern drawl, and his not-too-interested-in-me ways made me stop in my tracks.

He wasn't completely head over heels for me. Which I liked. I liked that he was a little harder to get. It was intriguing to me.

He still intrigues me.

I love to watch him at a party or at a social event. I am always drawn to stay right at his side because that's where the fun is. I love how he can talk to anyone about anything. Meanwhile, I am tongue-tied and completely lacking in most social situations.

I love his heart the most. He is compassionate, yet discerning. He is careful and thoughtful in anything he does. While I on the other hand am like a bull in a china shop flying by the seat of my pants. Lem is always patiently waiting on me to finish my craziness so that he can clean up the mess. Yes, true.

We balance each other. Well.

Or shall I say he balances me. That would be the most accurate.

Like I said, I am the lucky one. God knew I needed his stability due to my lack of stability. God knew I needed someone strong and not easily rocked.

He makes me better.

trying to be more like him,

jill