A letter to the girls...The married kind.....

celebrating on a little mountain get-away..
courtesy of Rick and Jane. ;)

On September 26th, Lem and I celebrated 15 years of marriage. {how can this be?}

Just a few thoughts on the subject.....

Our marriage is not perfect. In fact, it is far from it.

I am not always in a good mood. {neither is he.}

I am not always cheery. {neither is he}

Some days are hard. Well, many days actually.

My temper and my tongue go haywire at times. {still working on this one}

He has better control over this than I do. {shoot}

If I am honest, I will tell you that marriage is not easy. It teaches me to be a giver, and not always a taker.

I've discovered that when I give, and not always demand my own way, he tends to be more of a giver.

Sounds crazy, right?

My body is not the same, my face is not the same {it has a lot more lines}. However, Lem accepts me and loves me and makes me feel the same.

I have tried to change him, to mold him, to create the "husband" I think he should be.

This does not work.

Let me repeat: This does not work.

When I learned to approach this "without words", as 1 Peter 3:1 tells us, things started changing.

When I learned to quit nagging, persisting, insisting, and demanding he change....

His ears could finally hear the Holy Spirit.

The clanging in his ears from my voice was preventing the Holy Spirit's Voice from being heard.

I thought I was doing the right thing all of those years...

When, in fact, I just had to trust the Lord with him. I had to learn to realize that God loves Lem more than me. I had to realize that God could change him, but I could not.

The biggest revelation was that I was the one in need of change. {say what?!}

My heart was in the wrong place. Always demanding, expecting, and not content unless he was doing what I wanted him to do.

I wanted him to do a bible study, he did not want to.

I wanted to be more involved in church, he did not want to.

I wanted to make him have quiet time with me, he did not want to.

I wanted him to read the bible with me, he did not want to.

I wanted him to quit drinking alcohol, he did not want to.

I wanted him to be like some of my friends godly husbands {and I even told him that many times}, he did not want to.

Notice the first word in each of the above sentences??

Yes, I. Me, myself, and I.

When I let go of my expectations, and focused on my own walk, my own relationship with Christ....

Something incredible happened.

My heart softened. My heart changed.

Not only that, but the icing on the cake was that Lem started to change.

God began to draw us closer, when I stepped back and let the Lord do His thing.

Who knew??

As women, we like to have control over things. We like to tie things up in a pretty little ribbon just the way we like them.

However, what He is showing me....

Is that when I let go. Give Him complete control. Surrender.....

All of those things I try to super glue together.... fall apart.

And the most glorious thing happens....

He turns that mess into a masterpiece.

He sees the act of surrender and obedience, and then He is able to do His Will. His Thing. His Perfect Plan begins to take place.

If you are in a marriage today that is struggling for air, on the brink of separation, in dire need of refreshing....

I encourage you to give it to Him.

Forget about trying in your own power to change things. It doesn't work. Never has and never will.

Surrender that marriage to the Lord. It's His to begin with anyway, right?

I also encourage you to be the change you want for him.

Yes, YOU be the change.

What do you want from your husband?

Be what you want him to be. Be consistent. Don't do it to force a change in him, do it because that's what God calls you to do.

This has nothing to do with your man. This has everything to do with Jesus Christ. Honoring Him. Period.

"Love never fails", my friends.

It will always be the right way.

I will still struggle with my expectations. I will still struggle with demanding my way.

However, I now know that nothing will change, unless I change.

Let me remember this, Father. Help us all to remember.

"We can be confident that He will listen to us whenever we ask Him for anything in line with His will." 1 John 5:14

"Ask anything in My name, and I will do it." John 14:14

"Call upon me and I will answer you" Jeremiah 33:3

"Above all else, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8

"God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble" 1 Peter 5:5


Father, soften our hearts. Help us to not be demanding, selfish, and self-focused in our marriage. Show us how to love without conditions and expectations. The kind of Love that You show us. Help us to put our men first, above all others, except You Lord. Give us the desire to be a better spouse. Give us the desire to be a giver, and not a taker. We ask that you weed out pride, and replace it with humility. Praise You, Father. You want our marriages rock solid, Father. Mend our hearts, repair the breeches, and nurse us back to health in these areas. Forgive us for not showing love. Forgive us for anything we have put before our marriages. Fall fresh on us today, Holy Spirit. We receive.



putting the super-glue away,


jill

Diary of a Rural Housewife....

I love mornings. However, I am not always pleasant or attractive for that matter in the morning.

I do not sleep in cute matching pajamas. Nope. My shirts are greased stained, and ill-fitting, but, oh so comfy.

My children often get cereal for dinner. Because I am tired. They love cereal, I am pooped, so it works.

I hate packing lunch boxes. {shocking, huh}. I secretly hope that the school cafeteria will offer something delightful sounding to the kids so they will eat at school. This rarely happens.

I pray while I am packing the little lunch boxes. Because I dread it so.

I love crock pot meals. You guessed it. Easy. One dish, one meal, one cleanup. Oh yeah.

I loathe laundry.

My baskets show this disdain.

Question? How can you wash every thread in the house, and still wind up with a full basket within 24 hours? Yeah, I am still scratching my head on that one.

Laundry multiples. Like fungus. It grows and grows.

I often re-paint my toe nails. Over and over instead of using a fresh coat. By the time I am ready to remove, I need a paint solvent to melt that stuff off.

I love being asked over for dinner. It's so nice to not have to be the one preparing the food, cleaning the table, and too tired to eat by the time I sit down.


school lunch anyone?

jill

Are you sure, Lord?

So, the Lord has been talking to me today. Big time.

It started a few days ago actually. I had to sit down and write about it, because I thought it may encourage one of you.

I've been feeling so torn lately. I have felt the calling for a while to get plugged into my church more with bible studies.

This Summer, the opportunity fell right in my lap, literally.

I was so excited and joyful because I KNEW it was God's timing for me to begin a new season of leading a small group study.

However, I was also a little sad.

I would miss my Tuesday night girls in Madison.

Could I possibly do both?

Not likely as school starts back up and activities are in full swing.

I've been torn.

I know that the Lord had brought me into this Tuesday night bible study group in Madison a few years ago. I still feel very tied to them.

So, why would He pull me another way??

My heart is a little selfish in the whole thing because I want to do both groups.

I've been asking myself for months now if I am making the right decision. Am I following the Lord? What about all that I have invested in the relationships from my Tuesday night group?

Help.

My revelation came from an unlikely place.

A friend of mine was telling me of a pastor who was leaving a church. Some of the members were not happy about it.

One of the members asked him this question: "How do you know that it is the Lord calling you to leave? How do you know that it is not just your own selfish ambition?"

This was his answer..I am paraphrasing in a big way.

"You know it's His calling when you are scared to death. You know it's His calling when it makes you uncomfortable. You know it's His calling when it would be easier to stay. You know it's His calling when He lines it all up, but it still takes a  leap of Faith to change."

This has stuck with me for several days now.

This is exactly how I was feeling. Scared to death, uncomfortable, majorly unequipped, yet I have had every assurance that this had to be His way for me.

Fear would grip my heart and I would think: "If I knew with certainty that I would be a good small group leader, if I knew that ladies would come, if I knew that God would anoint me in this uncharted water...would I go?"

The answer was always Yes.

However, we don't always know with certainly. We just have to take steps in obedience. Trusting His lead even when it's not the easy way. Even when it would be so much easier to stay where it's comfortable, where your friends are.

I'm thankful to God for loving me enough to show me this Truth today.

He's so faithful, y'all. He really is.

He has called us to make disciples of all nations. That is a HUGE call. HUGE.

We cannot do that being comfortable all the time.

We must take a risk. We must keep moving. We must put our will aside and submit to His.

Has He asked you to change course? Does it scare you?

Trust Him.

Take His hand and walk over that mountain to the other side. The Promise of His faithfulness is just over the bend.


learning to go with the flow of His course,

jill

20 years, say what?

I cannot believe it's been 20 years since I graduated high school. I mean, I remember when my parents went to THEIR 20th reunion!

It makes me feel ancient.

However, I am so excited to see everyone. Due to social media, the big surprises of how people look, who they married, etc...are kind of not as surprising. Most people can find out what you are up to these days.

It takes a little of the fun out of it, I think. But, that's just me. I love surprises!

I'll spare you from posting high school pictures. Yikes. I still shudder when I think of some of the things I wore, and some of the things that I did back in those days. {double yikes}

I wasn't that bad, but I wasn't that good either. Despite my maiden name being " Allgood". :)

I'm truly forever grateful that my parents were so strict on me. It's a blessing now. My mistakes could have been much worse.

Sometimes, I wish I could take some of the things back that I said, and did. But, I can't.

I just ask the Lord to cover those times, and cover any that I hurt in those times.

High school was a very insecure time in my life. I hid who I really was, at times.

I became who people thought I should be.

If I were to be able to do it all again, or talk to my 16 year old self, I would tell her this:

• be who you are
• you are beautiful even if you don't feel it
• treat others as you would want to be treated
• don't take things too seriously
• write more
• try out for more things--be more courageous
• wear less makeup
• don't look for a serious boyfriend in high school, you are too immature
• go to church more
• read your bible more
• spend more time with your parents
• call your grandparents more
• drink more water
• learn to cook now--not when you are a newlywed

I know that my past experiences have created who I am today. I cannot change that.

With time, comes wisdom. With time, come some regrets. With time, comes perspective.

Life looks different from this season of life. It looks fast. It looks short. It looks beautiful.

When you are 16, life just looks like forever. It seems you will never grow up, never get a boyfriend, and never get married.

The years go by like molassas when you are 16.

I long for molassas days.

I just want to sit in the syrupy sweetness of life and enjoy every sticky second of it.

Life is beautiful. Life is fleeting. Life is now.

So, to my 16 year old self---I would say:  Enjoy these days. However, know that better days are coming. Better than you could ever imagine.

A girl can change her mind....

I was having a conversation with a friend recently and I told her this: "One thing is for sure, today I may feel one way about something. However, next week, I may feel completely different."

Someone asked for my advice about something a few days ago and I prefaced it with this "Today, I think...."

This sounds really wishy washy and blase. I know this.

However, I think it is actually the contrary.

We are constantly being changed, renewed, sharpened, and shined by the Lord. Right?

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2

See what I mean? :)

I think the older I get, the more sure of one thing I know---I do not have it figured out. And I never will until I meet Jesus at His Throne. Hopefully then, He will make sense of all this world-y stuff.

My convictions are very strong some days about certain things in my own life. Other days, I am unsure of what God really is asking of me. Are these Jill's convictions for herself or are these convictions from the Lord?

It's a tough call some days. I can be very black and white in certain areas in my life.

Is Jesus black and white? Or is He black, white, and gray as well?

I do know this: Grace can be gray for me sometimes. If that makes any kind of sense.

The Bible is very clear regarding certain behaviors that we are to adhere to and abstain from.

However, other things, are not so clear to me.

This is where the gray area comes in. This is where I have to go to Him, His Word, and talk to Him. Seek Him, and ask Him to show me what to do.

Sometimes, I am still unsure--if I am being honest.

This is where Grace comes in. I have to just realize that I will mess up some days, I will go the wrong way. Even when I am really, really, really trying to go the right way.

God will reign me back in with His Grace. Just like He always does.

This, I know.


black, white, and a lot of gray,

jill

Do what you love.....

I love to write.

It's just in my blood.

If I have some extra minutes {like right this second}, I sit down, inhale, let out a big exhale, and write.

It's taken a long time for me to get back into the habit of doing what I love to do the most.

Probably because for a long time,  I was in denial of my passion for writing. It was something I did when I needed to let off some steam, relax, or heal from a wound.

I think my maternal grandmother was a writer. My momma has shown me some letters and notes that she penned in her beautiful form.

My momma is a writer as well. Her cards and notes convey the sweetest portion of her heart. Every single word is a glimpse of that heart.

I was just telling the Lord yesterday how thankful I am to live in this day and age. I thanked Him for choosing this period of time for me.

 I'm glad I live in a day and an age where I can type. It's cleaner. Neater. No white-out required.

My hearts desire is to write a bible study or devotional. It has been for a long, long time.

SHINE is the closest thing I have to fulfilling this dream for now.

I have so many thoughts that I think: "I need to jot this down. I need to remember this."

You know, those God moments where He is teaching and revealing and you can barely absorb the awesomeness of it all. Yes, those moments.

For now, I will just keep blogging my little heart away.

If you are reading this, I encourage you to do what you love. Do it as often as time allows.

God has given us these desires and these gifts for His purposes and plans. When in use, they set into motion the perfect harmony of His orchestra.

I imagine Him smiling every time I sit down to write. Giving back to Him what He has so generously given to me.

Are you fulfilling your hearts desires?  If not, what's stopping you?

sharpening my pencil--er, i mean charging my laptop,

jill

Girl Talk.....

Let's talk some girly talk, shall we?

I love beauty products, I do. Some people spend money on purses, jewelry, home decor, etc. I spend my money on products. 

My friend Lisa and I just had this conversation about what we like, and what floats our little girlish boats. 

If I could spend a whole day in any store it would be Sephora. Or Ulta. I'll take either one. See, I'm not picky or high maintenance. 

Something about the idea of transformation {via beauty products} inspires me! 

I've tried most products. I have come to the age where I pretty much know what I like and what I don't. HOWEVER, I discover new products on a weekly basis. Seriously.

My sister and I will find ourselves in hours of conversation about new products we have discovered. Oh yeah. It's true.

I love talking to my girlfriends about what they like and what they use and LOVE! 

So, I have made a small list of my favorite things right now. 

Let me know some of your faves. Share the good stuff, will ya? 

gets the frizzy frizz out of my hair.
LOVE this stuff!
plus it's sulfate-free.
if your hair is really oily...
don't try this stuff. 

my friend, Danielle, recommended this mascara.
it's a HIT.
thanks, Danielle!

long time winner of best eye make up remover.
there is no other choice, people.
this is IT! :)

Okay, perfume smells different on different people. I get that.
BUT, this is good stuff. It's my fave.
I get it every year for Christmas.
With the exception of this year?
Hello, Lem?
So, any close relatives reading this...
you know what I want for my closely approaching birthday.
(this is a gift set. under 50 bucks.)
i'm worth it, right?

Kitchen talk......

I was just sitting on the couch poring through my Better Homes and Gardens cook book.

It's a huge pink, special edition, cook book that my Momma gave me a few years ago. It's hardly been touched. Not because it's not a great book, but because I have dozens of other books on the same shelf with it that get picked up because I am a little more familiar with the recipes.

A little unknown fact about me: I love reading cookbooks. Love.

The more pictures the better. I hate reading a recipe that doesn't have a picture attached. I have to have a visual so that I know what the dish will look like.You know? Say yes. :)

This post all stemmed from me trying to make some Russian tea cakes this afternoon. I was in the mood to cook or bake. So, baking it was since I had the ingredients for this yummy treat. When I say yummy, I mean YUMMY.

My neighbor, Kelly, makes them every Christmas. She gives me a big plate full of them because she knows they are my favorite! These little devils are the reason my pants won't button come January 2nd. Seriously.

Anyway, I decided to make them on my own. I was craving some comfort food.

Not sure what happened, but they ended up falling apart. Completely. Every last little ball of them.

I remember Kelly's famous last words when I asked her if they were easy to make: "Jill, you could make these blindfolded."

Ha.

Wrong.

As I looked at the little crumbled cookies in the pound of powdered sugar they were supposed to be rolled in, I felt a wee bit sorry for myself.

I thought: "Seriously, Jill? Can you do anything right?"

Not kidding. I had these thoughts.

My mind was spinning at all of the things that I did not excel in. The enemy was having a hay day with me.

Actually, I give him no credit. My flesh was having a hay day with my mind. Yep, that's it.

After sweeping up the crumbs and powdered sugar, I sat down with my cookbook. The one mentioned above.

I'll try another recipe tomorrow was my exact thought. I will make something really new and yummy. I will. I will. I will.

I was determined to make something good to make up for the failed Russian tea cakes. I never liked Russia anyway. Too.darn.cold.

This same time one year ago, I heard the Lord calling me to draw closer to Him in His Word. I could literally feel Him pursuing me like never before.

It was then and there that SHINE began. It all began with His pursuing, my reacting, and His faithfulness.

Funny how a year can change you.

I've been sifted and molded and sifted some more this past year.

All in His timing of course.

My heart is in a new place as the old year ends and a new year begins.

Last year it was an anticipation, a longing.

This year, it is more of a settled peace. A Holy Contentment. Not contentment in the fact that I am where I need to be in my faith journey...because I have such a long way to go. Like, millions of miles.

More like a contentment with who I am, where I am on this journey, and who He created me to be.

Just like my baking disaster from today, I know that perfection is not an option. It never will be.

However, when I do fail--like with the tea cakes--I will get back up, sweep the floor, and try again.

With each failure, I will learn something new. I will be more equipped for the next journey.

I am learning that it really is a day by day journey with Him. If I try to skip ahead a few pages, it never works out. He wants every moment to be accounted for.

He uses each second as a teaching opportunity. To grow me in the areas that are too tiny for me to even see. He wants every crevice filled. Every last one of them.



looking for a new recipe,

jill

Insta-Love....

So, since I broke up with Facebook for a bit, I have found a new love.

Instagram.

Hello, where has this been all my life?

I do love Twitter too. (just kinda gettin' used to it.)

But, there is just something about Instagram.

 Hmmm. What is it?

OH! I know, I know!

It's purely VISUAL!

YES!!

I am a visual girl, plain and simple. I like pictures. They make sense to me.

Instagram is all pictures. Taken by your cell phone and uploaded for your "followers" to see.

Hello, why didn't I ever think of this?

I could totally be sitting on a deserted beach somewhere sipping a fruity drink if this would have been my idea.

Shoot.

Anyway, it is my new favorite thing!

It's not stalky or scary, or TMI.

It's just fun pictures. Of your real life.

Yes, I like that.


insta in love,

jill

SHINE goes Italian....

yes, i am a dork....some things never change.
i made them raise their hands and yell SHINE! :)

surrounded by my Johnathan's. <3
see post here...
http://shinegirlsshine.blogspot.com/2012/01/friday-shine_27.html 

Happy Birthday Dinner for me. The gift was their company.

We ate at Chianti's. One of my faves.

I love these girls. 

Every last cute little one of them.

Thank you, friends!

I dare you to love...

I was mopping my floor yesterday and thinking about my husband. Our anniversary is approaching and I was in deep thoughtful prayer about how blessed I am to have a husband like Lem.

Many, many days I take him for granted. Sad, but so true.

I decided to create my own love dare for him.  I had followed the Love Dare book 2 years ago and it produced wonderful results in our marriage. Since then I have loaned the book out...and have no idea who I loaned it to. Oops. 

I invited my friends to participate on this journey with me. So far, 24 friends are on board. They are very kind to let me just wing this. I have no idea what activities lie ahead of us, but I am praying fervently for God's direction....and for their input!

My heart has a long way to go in the marriage department. I wanted my friends along with me for the accountability and encouragement. I need it. The most.

Our marriages need to be strong so we can build strong families. It's God's desire.

I need all the help I can get.

So, yesterday was our Day 1. The dare was to leave a note on our spouse's pillow telling him your very favorite thing about him.

Today I sent this email for our Day 2. I will try to post these on my blog as we go.  If you really want to jump in with us, I can also send you an email if you will share your email address with me.

Jump in! I dare you...

 Day 2:

Good morning! Thank you again for doing this with me. I KNOW you will be blessed on this journey. Some days will definitely be harder than others because of how we are feeling that day. Some days we will not want to show love to our spouses because we are mad, moody, bitter, etc..or all of the above like me! :) However, God commands us to love even when our flesh tells us different. This is exactly what sets us apart as Christians.


I did the Love Dare book 2 years ago and God restored some brokenness in my heart while I was doing the dare.Lem had no idea that I was doing the book, and some days it was hard. I stayed the course and our marriage was blessed because of obedience. I have slid a long way back since coming to that point, so that's why I want to do this again. For my own heart.

You may come to a point while doing this when you will say to yourself.."What about ME?" I came to that point too...Many days! (and i still do!)

However, if we believe God's word then we know that He will bless our marriages when we are obedient to God's calling to love. We will see the fruit of our obedience. His word never returns void.

Again, I will not be following the book this time...because I have loaned it out. We will just kind of be winging this! However, some of the activities that are still fresh in my mind we may do.

So, today is Thursday and today's dare is this:

**Pray for your spouse all day today. Don't pray for him to change (which is tempting!)...but instead thank God for your spouse. Tell God how grateful and thankful you are for the spouse He hand-picked for YOU. When you are in the shower, drying your hair, in the long carpool line, cooking dinner...whatever it is...pray prayers of thanksgiving to God for your man. Spill your heart to God about how much you love your man and how thankful you are for him. (even if you are not feeling too loving...thank God anyway.)**

Not only will this draw our hearts closer to our husbands by praying for them, but it will in turn draw us closer to God. A double whammy! Yay!

"In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

I'm praying for you. Let's go show some LOVE!

with a thankful heart,

jill

Marrying up....

the night Lem proposed to me-Feb. 6th 1998

I definitely married up.

I always tell people that I am the lucky one in this marriage. Poor Lem. I know he had NO idea what he was getting into when he married this 23 year old blond-haired-mess-of-a girl. Goodness knows, he has probably wondered what in the world he was thinking.

We will be married 13 years on the 26th of September. A lot has changed since that day. We have changed. Life has changed.

For the better.

Lem makes me a better person. Pure and simple. His heart is always in the right place. Mine, not so much. He never, ever, ever says a bad thing about anyone. Ever. Me, on the other hand, well...that's another story.

Sometimes it makes me mad because he is always so good. Like, when I want to vent about something and he just calmly says, "It'll be alright." Ugggh. Not exactly what I want to hear.

But, exactly what I need to hear.

15 years ago when we met, I was drawn to his blond locks, blue eyes, good looks, and rolling on the floor with laughter charm and wit. He was different than any other boy I had ever known. Something about his southern drawl, and his not-too-interested-in-me ways made me stop in my tracks.

He wasn't completely head over heels for me. Which I liked. I liked that he was a little harder to get. It was intriguing to me.

He still intrigues me.

I love to watch him at a party or at a social event. I am always drawn to stay right at his side because that's where the fun is. I love how he can talk to anyone about anything. Meanwhile, I am tongue-tied and completely lacking in most social situations.

I love his heart the most. He is compassionate, yet discerning. He is careful and thoughtful in anything he does. While I on the other hand am like a bull in a china shop flying by the seat of my pants. Lem is always patiently waiting on me to finish my craziness so that he can clean up the mess. Yes, true.

We balance each other. Well.

Or shall I say he balances me. That would be the most accurate.

Like I said, I am the lucky one. God knew I needed his stability due to my lack of stability. God knew I needed someone strong and not easily rocked.

He makes me better.

trying to be more like him,

jill

Puzzle pieces....

Ever met someone that makes you want to throw up?

Well, I did tonight. I mean this in the nicest way, however.

Her name is Susan and she is a friend of my sisters.

She is beautiful. Her hair is perfect. Her make-up is flawless. She cooks like Paula Deen. She sews like Martha Stewart. She coupons like a professional. She just went back to school to get her cosmetology degree...which means she is also good at doing other peoples hair and make-up.

She has 5 kids. Yes, 5 kids.

You hate her too, don't  you.

As she was teaching me her couponing system underneath the bright lights of my sisters kitchen table, I feel myself dwindling. Suddenly, I feel pretty inadequate.

Good grief, Lord, can I just have one of these skills that she effortlessly conveys? I mean, seriously.

I had one question for her..."Do you.....home school?" If she said yes, I was going to turn her around and look for the batteries fastened in her back. She couldn't be real.

"No way!", She answered.

Shew. Okay. She's a real person. (i think.)

As we were driving the 45 minute drive home from my sisters house, I spent some time talking to the Lord. In my head of course.

Lem was busy listening to the Georgia football post-game talk radio show and the kids had fallen asleep in the back seat. It was just me and God. God and me.

I had some serious questions for Him. I needed some answers.

Okay, Lord, why do you give some of your children so many, many, many gifts? Why not spread the gifts a little. Why can't I be so effortless in sewing, cooking, grooming, couponing, etc...? Eh?

Instead, I am doing good to just get out the door in the mornings. Leaving a trail as I go.

Hmmmm? Answer me that one, Lord.

Silence.

A few minutes later a thought comes into my head. I see my children. Their beautiful faces. Their presence. The joy they bring me just looking at them and being close to them.

God feels the same way about His children, right?

If Presley was a master singer, dancer, soccer player or gymnast...would that make me love her any more than I already do?

Nope.

If Joseph sat the bench the whole football game his whole entire life, would that make me love him less?

No way.

As I pictured this last scenario...I envisioned Joseph witnessing to a friend while he was on that football bench and on the side lines. I pictured him encouraging his friend in life and in faith.

He may be made just to sit on that bench. And encourage a friend.

Oh, what a glorious sight.

Some of us may be the piece to the puzzle that is very, very small. So small that it slipped under the couch, unnoticed until the piece was needed to finish God's great masterpiece.

You can't have a beautiful puzzle unless every single piece is accounted for, right?

So, whatever our place on the puzzle, it's His design. His masterpiece. His plan.

Perfect. Picture perfect.

learning to embrace my piece to this puzzle,

jill

Jesus in the carpool line....

I have to share something. It's just not right to keep something so amazing and so providential to myself.  That would be selfish, right?

I thought so too.

Okay, so I have been hearing about this great devotional by Sarah Young called, "Jesus Calling". Many friends and even my sister have been telling me to get it.

I am devotional-poor. I mean, I have devotionals all around my house. One in every bathroom. Yes, a lot.
(shows you just what i mess i am and how needy i am for His word!)

Moving on.

 So, I had lunch with my dear friend Lisa yesterday at our favorite little spot...Chili's. I wish you knew Lisa. Or maybe some of you do.

Oh my, talk about a godly woman. She is my mentor...in every way. She probably hates when I tell her that but I can't help it. She's just awesome. She's the kind of awesome that doesn't even realize how awesome she is. Which makes her even more awesome. (and she's beautiful). All that rolled into one godly lady..so unfair.

She's the kind of person that makes you want to be better.  I always leave her presence feeling so encouraged and inspired.

Yep, she's that great. (so is her blog....check it out and be blessed.)

Well, I left our lunch and headed to Lifeway to get the book "Excellent Wife". Lisa is teaching this study at her church and was telling me how wonderful it is. If Lisa says it's good...it's good.

I quickly darted in the store and got the very last copy.

As I was checking out, I notice the "Jesus Calling" devotional on the shelf on sale for $10.00.
Ooh..that's a deal. Hard to pass up a good deal. At least for me it is.

I grabbed it and checked out of the store.

I headed straight to the school to get in the carpool line. I was early so I had time to read my new books.

Picking up the devotional first, I went to August 31st. (yesterday)

I settled in my seat with my (real) coke in one hand and my devotional in the other.

I read the passage for that day and nearly fainted right there on the steering wheel.

Okay, God REALLY was speaking to me. To ME. Oh my.

Here is what it read--or what God was saying:


"Grow strong in your weakness. Some of my children I have gifted with abundant strength and stamina. Others, like you, have received the humble gift of frailty. Your fragility is not a punishment, nor does it indicate lack of faith. On the contrary, weak ones like you must live by faith, depending on Me to get you through the day. I am developing your ability to trust Me, to lean on Me, rather than on your understanding. Your natural preference is to plan out your day, knowing what will happen when. My preference is for you to depend on Me continually, trusting Me to guide you and strengthen you as needed. This is how you grow strong in weakness."

I nearly fainted. (Whoever was in the black explorer next to me in carpool, forgive me for my emotional raising of the hands and shouting hallelujah. You must have thought I was crazy. You were right.)

I had just cried on the phone with my friend that morning about how weak I was. How things seemed to affect me so deeply and it was wearing me out. Why couldn't I just be stronger and let things roll off my back instead letting things go so deep within my soul.

Why did God make me that way? Why was my sister strong as a rock...Steady Eddie, and I was weak as a kitten, Unstable Mabel?

He was telling me why in that very passage. He wants my weakness to glorify Him. Living by faith on Him alone.

Wow.

Go get this book.

Go.. now!

What is He showing you today?

If you are on your knees about something, maybe that's exactly where He wants you to be.

Fragile, frail.

Depending on Him, alone.

embracing my weakness and His strength,

jill

Next to Godliness...

you can find this at your local Trader Joe's.  thank me later.

I am always on the look-out for a good cleaning product. Preferably, one that won't singe my lungs with it's pungent smell. Or, pollute my children's little delicate bodies with dangerous chemicals. Chemicals that will remain dormant until they hit their mid-thirties, and then they will suddenly have off the wall, wacky, unexplainable symptoms. Symptoms that they will trace back to their mother's cleaning products.

(i think i may be on to something here...maybe this is what's wrong with me? sorry, mom.)

Okay, moving on.

After noticing cloudy spots on my green granite counter tops, I decided to try a different cleaning solution. Being the cleaning product junkie that I am, I reached under my sink and grabbed a green bottle at the back of the cabinet. 

I had completely forgotten I had bought this...a LONG time ago. Why was it still under my sink?

Oh yes- I remember.

I keep all cleaning products because you just never, ever, ever  know when you may run out of said product and need more. You can never have too many cleaning products. Right?

 (I think I may have a cleaning product hoarding issue. Shoot. Add that to my list.)

On with the story.

I sprayed this green stuff on my counter tops and VOILA!! No more cloudy!

I sprayed and sprayed and wiped and wiped. Oh the feeling of clean counter tops! It never ceases to make me smile! Clean is a good, good thing.

(yes, issues people. i have lots of issues.)

After my glorious cleaning episode, I turned the bottle around and read the directions for usage. My heart started pounding. Beating out of my chest. I hope this was okay to use on granite. Yikes. I was imagining my counter tops cracking and falling apart and getting my husband's wrath over my lack of label reading.

Thank goodness!

 It was okay to use. Not only was it okay to use, but it is also good for mirrors, oven tops, walls, sinks, and many other household items.

Praise the good Lord!

Which by the way, brings me to the product's name..."Next to Godliness". 

 *cue the angelic choir*

I think we have a keeper, folks.

Now, if only I can bring myself to clean out the rest of the crap under that sink.

Maybe tomorrow.

Today, I will rest in the thoughts of my clean counters.......next to godliness clean.


shiny and new,

jill

Here comes the sun.....

The sun came out on Friday. Yes, the sun really came out. I speak literally and metaphorically.

Friday was my much anticipated hair appointment with Allison. Oh, I love this girl. She rocks like Def Leppard did back in the '80's. (actually, they still rock to me). Call me old school.

I was so nervous heading into her shop.  Why, you ask? Why?

It was "Back-to-blond" day. For those of you who are not frequent readers of my blog (well, probably all of you)...I dyed my hair brown just after Christmas.

It was fun for about 2 weeks. Then, I started experiencing unusual bleach withdrawals. You know, nausea, vomiting, unexplained rashes.  No, not really.

I just missed my blond hair. I have been blond my entire life. Trying darker was something I have always wanted to do. And, I did.

And, I'm done.

The whole week leading up to the appointment I was thinking--my hair will fall out. I could possibly be bald. If it doesn't fall out, it will be orange. If it doesn't turn orange it will be fried....french-fried. If it's not fried, it will look like I got in a fight with a crimping iron and the crimping iron won. If it's.....Okay, I will shut up.

With that said....what's a girl to do?

 Trust her fairy-godmother.....I mean hair stylist.

Allison calmly looked at me and said.."Piece of cake..you will LOVE it when I'm done. "

What? That's it? Are you sure?? Look, look real closely...my hair is dark brown.

Like a drill Sargent she instructs me: "Smock on, I will get the bleach ready."

Ohhhhhh, just the word "bleach" got my heart pumping. Bleach, oh bleach-- I have surely missed you,  my friend.

3 hours later, yes 3 hours.....and 3 bowls of bleach later....the sun came out. On my head.

I wanted to hug her and kiss her, but I refrained.  She rocks. Have I told you that?

So, I know you are dying or shall I say "dyeing" to see the final result.  Pardon the corny pun. I couldn't resist. Keep in mind, I was not looking my best. I just rolled out of bed and snapped a picture.....

And there you have it.



still high off 3 bowls of bleach,

I'm Hooked....

...on ALDI. Oh my goodness, I have never been so happy to go to the grocery store. I find myself wanting to go, even when we don't need anything...just so i can save money.

"If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good."-- Dr. Seuss

Yep, saving money is good...and fun! Try it y'all..put those couponing scissors down. Come on over to ALDI. You will be glad you did!

Oh, and they also own Trader Joe's. I love them even more.

That's all.

happy Friday friends,

Jill

Bring on the new year....

A new year and a new me....:)

Trying dark for a while...:)

Praying for all of you that 2011 will be full of God's blessings, joy, peace, good health and most of all LOVE.

Happy New Year!

cheers~

Oh the smell....

~hellooooo Blondie....me and my freshly bleached hair...pardon the style, I just clipped it back out of my eyes..but you get the idea..~


Sometimes it's the littlest things that lift our spirits and make us feel like we can make it through another day. Well, this week I want to give credit where credit us due....

BLEACH!!! Yes, bleach. Oh, how I love the word...it rolls off my tongue like honey from a honeycomb. It trickles through my mouth and produces the most glorious sound...bleeeeeeachhhhh. Mmmm....what a sound.

Before I expound, I must let you in on a little secret. Every 6 months or so, I like to change up my laundry detergent. Why, you ask? Well, I hate doing laundry. It is the worst of all chores in my book. The folding, the ironing, the putting away...ughhh! (who am i kidding? like I really iron..haha!)

When I just can't take the arduous laundry task any longer, I rush to the nearest Target or Wal-Mart and buy a brand new bottle of laundry detergent. Just the new smell alone, gets me in the groove again. I LOVE the way a brand new bottle of laundry detergent smells. I think we get desensitized to our old detergent smell, and therefore loose all love for it.

Well, last Sunday I brought home a bottle of Tide with Bleach Alternative. This came highly recommended from several friends. I almost choked on my chewing gum when I saw the price for this product. $11.99??? Are you kidding me??? Who buys this stuff? It must be liquid gold!

I washed my first load that night. As the load finished the rinse cycle, I slowly opened the lid to the washer. The most aromatic smell rose to my nostrils, as I ever so gently inhaled. Ahhhh....bleach...fresh bleachy soap smell. Is there anything better?

Well, 8 loads of laundry later, I am still enjoying this providential product. I know, I know, it will soon get old and I will move on to another detergent. But, in the meantime I will enjoy my little bottle of liquid gold.

Did I mention that today was my "hair day"? Only my favorite day of the whole entire month!! As I am sitting in the chair watching Allison artfully and skillfully put each piece of foil in my hair, I breathe that sweet smell again.

"I LOVE that smell...i LOVE it", I tell her.

"Oh, I am so sorry, it is so strong. I apologize for the smell." Allison says.

"Oh, Allison, sweetie, I was serious. I LOVE that smell. It makes me very happy," I grin like a Cheshire cat as I tell her.

"You're serious??" asks Allison.

"Yes, and Yes!" I exclaim..probably a little to excitedly.

So, my hair girl thinks I am a nut case. Oh well. Maybe I am.

still high on bleach,

Jill

Five Random Things about me...

My friend Mary tagged me with this blog entry. So....with much anticipation and thought provoking inner- self research (not really) this is what i came up with.....



Five Random things about me....



Number one... I have a very strange and frustrating fear.......which is kind of embarrasing to share, but here goes....i cannot swallow pills of any kind. Well, let me interject, the very small round advil i can handle, but any bigger than that and I will crush them up in a pill crusher. You know those things that they sell in the geriatric isle at walgreens??..well, nevermind, you probably don't know. Such a silly thing, but I am scared they will get stuck in my little throat and i will die and that would be the end of me. Go ahead and have a big laugh on that one. You have my permission.



There has to be a name for this phobia, but i have yet to find it. I think i will call it jillsafreakphobia. =)



Number two.....every night before i go to bed i have to have the coffee ready to go, with the cup, creamer, spoon and napkin all neatly laid out beside the coffee maker. Also, my cereal bowl with the spoon on a napkin and ready to go, as well as the kids bowls on the counter with the spoons on a napkin. I am OCD about this one! I cannot rest my head until it is all done. My husband, on rare occassion , when he is feeling frisky...will do this for me, because he knows it has to be done.



Okay, I am starting to scare even myself with the craziness. Yikes.



Number three...I have recently become an Arbonne consultant! Kind of an undercover one at this point, because i do not have much free time to give it a good go, but i absolutely LOVE their products. Which, of course, is the reason i wanted to become a consultant. I needed the discount to be able to get all of the products that i wanted!! Their products are ALL botanically based, with all natural plant derived ingredients, which was a HUGE draw for me. After 3 months on the skincare line, my skin has never been better! Arbonne is all about beauty from the inside out, so they have a whole line of health care products as well, such as vitamins, protein shakes, weight control products, detoxification products, suncare, etc.... which of course are also all natural. The coolest product that I must have every night before i go to bed is for my feet. It is a body serum and body lotion which keeps my otherwise flaky and yucky feet smooth as a babies behind!! I have tried everything for these feet of mine, and this is the ONLY thing that has worked. No more sticking to the carpet when i walk!!! (Got Lem hooked too!)



Number four..... My new favorite vacation spot is Disney World!!! I feel 5 years old every time we visit, and each visit is better than the last! Just wish it wasn't so far and that is wasn't so expensive!!



Number five....I really wish that more of my friends and family members were bloggers!!! ;) It would make this a lot more fun!! The two or so people that read my blog and that have their own blogs, I am so grateful for!!



I am tagging Mandy on this one! Are you up for the challenge??!! :)