I used to think that loving like Jesus and asking God to give me eyes like Jesus would make things oh so neat and pretty.
Oh, on the contrary.
That's worth repeating: Oh, on the contrary.
Many may disagree with me, and I am so ok with that.
Loving like Jesus and really trying to be the hands and feet of Jesus--is pure Joy, and Happiness, and Abundance, and Blessing! {or so many will say}
I do not disagree that it certainly brings those things.
However, truly letting Him open our eyes to the hurting, the suffering, the lost, the lonely, the mother-less, the father-less...
Oh sweet Jesus, it's almost too much to bear.
We have the absolute pleasure of keeping two foster children in our home this weekend.
They are angels.
But, it is hard.
They are not hard. The situation is hard.
I just finished tucking them in, knowing that this may be their last stay with us.
They may be adopted soon.
Which is wonderful news.
But, I ache for them.
I ache for them to have to start all over again after being in a foster family for over 2 years now.
I ache for their future.
I ache for.....my loss. Of possibly not seeing them again...ever, after they are adopted.
Lem and I have grown attached to these little love muffins.
They are the two children God sent our way 2 years ago while vacationing in St. Simons.
Our good friends were fostering them and we fell in love with these two darlings.
They are the reason that we went through foster training.
They are the reasons that my heart is aching.
It's so messy. This loving thing.
It's never easy, or simple, or pretty and neat.
I often wonder why I am so attached to the...for lack of a better word--unlovables in this world.
I think I have found the answer.
I can relate to them.
I can relate to their desire to be loved. To be wanted. To be pursued.
Can't we all?
My friend Mary was asking me today how it was going having the extra kids in the house this week.
I smiled and honestly said that it was so natural. Yes, it was harder, but it just felt right.
Isn't that just perfectly God? To make something so hard, so tiring, so sad....to make it feel just right.
Life is messy.
It is.
However, God uses those messes to bring beauty. Beyond the world's brand of beauty.
Godly beauty.
Heavenly purpose.
Let me encourage you. If you are facing something hard, there's beauty to be found there.
There's purpose beyond your understanding.
Rest in the mess.
"Jesus never said it would be easy, but He said it would be worth it"
Matthew 7:13-14
neat is over-rated,
jill
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