I was just sitting on the couch poring through my Better Homes and Gardens cook book.
It's a huge pink, special edition, cook book that my Momma gave me a few years ago. It's hardly been touched. Not because it's not a great book, but because I have dozens of other books on the same shelf with it that get picked up because I am a little more familiar with the recipes.
A little unknown fact about me: I love reading cookbooks. Love.
The more pictures the better. I hate reading a recipe that doesn't have a picture attached. I have to have a visual so that I know what the dish will look like.You know? Say yes. :)
This post all stemmed from me trying to make some Russian tea cakes this afternoon. I was in the mood to cook or bake. So, baking it was since I had the ingredients for this yummy treat. When I say yummy, I mean YUMMY.
My neighbor, Kelly, makes them every Christmas. She gives me a big plate full of them because she knows they are my favorite! These little devils are the reason my pants won't button come January 2nd. Seriously.
Anyway, I decided to make them on my own. I was craving some comfort food.
Not sure what happened, but they ended up falling apart. Completely. Every last little ball of them.
I remember Kelly's famous last words when I asked her if they were easy to make: "Jill, you could make these blindfolded."
As I looked at the little crumbled cookies in the pound of powdered sugar they were supposed to be rolled in, I felt a wee bit sorry for myself.
I thought: "Seriously, Jill? Can you do anything right?"
Not kidding. I had these thoughts.
My mind was spinning at all of the things that I did not excel in. The enemy was having a hay day with me.
Actually, I give him no credit. My flesh was having a hay day with my mind. Yep, that's it.
After sweeping up the crumbs and powdered sugar, I sat down with my cookbook. The one mentioned above.
I'll try another recipe tomorrow was my exact thought. I will make something really new and yummy. I will. I will. I will.
I was determined to make something good to make up for the failed Russian tea cakes. I never liked Russia anyway. Too.darn.cold.
This same time one year ago, I heard the Lord calling me to draw closer to Him in His Word. I could literally feel Him pursuing me like never before.
It was then and there that SHINE began. It all began with His pursuing, my reacting, and His faithfulness.
Funny how a year can change you.
I've been sifted and molded and sifted some more this past year.
All in His timing of course.
My heart is in a new place as the old year ends and a new year begins.
Last year it was an anticipation, a longing.
This year, it is more of a settled peace. A Holy Contentment. Not contentment in the fact that I am where I need to be in my faith journey...because I have such a long way to go. Like, millions of miles.
More like a contentment with who I am, where I am on this journey, and who He created me to be.
Just like my baking disaster from today, I know that perfection is not an option. It never will be.
However, when I do fail--like with the tea cakes--I will get back up, sweep the floor, and try again.
With each failure, I will learn something new. I will be more equipped for the next journey.
I am learning that it really is a day by day journey with Him. If I try to skip ahead a few pages, it never works out. He wants every moment to be accounted for.
He uses each second as a teaching opportunity. To grow me in the areas that are too tiny for me to even see. He wants every crevice filled. Every last one of them.
looking for a new recipe,