Friday, January 13, 2012

Humble me, why don't ya.....

Sometimes life if just plain humbling.

For example: A few days after Christmas I broke out in a horrid rash on my stomach, chest and back.

Okay, "horrid" may be an understatement.

It was horrendous. Yes, that sounds better....horrendous.

It looked like the chicken pox, but only uglier.

Thank goodness, it's sweater, scarf and turtleneck weather, or I really would have been doomed to confinement.

Soon after, a big crusty fever blister popped up on my bottom lip.

To top THAT off, another formed right below it hanging off the corner of my mouth. Yes, hanging off the corner--you read that right.

More than once these past couple of weeks I have been asked.."Are you....okay?"

This only after seeing my face broken out, fever blistered...oh, and did I mention dark circles under my eyes?


Pity stares, I'm tellin' ya.

Well, here we are going on week 3 of this rash. Now, it's crawled up my neck. Yes, my neck.

To top THAT off, I was applying mascara and noticed a little spot on my eye lid. Yep, my eye lid.

Good grief. Give a girl a break, will ya?

So, I called the doctor at dark thirty this morning. The dermatologist.

The answering service picked up. Shoot.

When I want to see a doctor, I want to see a doctor...NOW.

Have a little sympathy....when you look like Frankenstein's twin sister, you get a little irritable.

Finally, I get an appointment--after practically begging the poor secretary on the other end of the line.

The PA walks into the room where they have chosen me to bare my ugly rash. As I am pulling up my shirt and pointing, she is looking down. She hardly gives me a glance.

"You're fine. It's just contact dermatitis. Or something similar." She says.

(Basically, my skin had a reaction to something....helpful, huh?)

She then says, "I will get the nurse to come and give you a the butt, and you will be okay."

I had lost every ounce of dignity that I had left.

Here I was looking like Leo the Leopard and now I had to have a shot in my......buttocks.

(Did she have to say.....butt? It was so.....demeaning.)

Before I had time to draw my composure, the nurse walks in with a needle.

Good grief, I mean, give me a minute to freshen up will ya?

I was not prepared to pull down my pants and bend over. (sorry for the graphics, but the truth is the truth, people.)

Girls, you know what I mean by "not prepared". I did not have on my cute panties or anything of the such. I was wearing my oldest and ugliest undergarments.


My face was reddening by the minute. I mean, come on didn't even lock the door.

What if someone walked in?

I mean, this is the kind of stuff that gets put on YouTube.

After the shot, I got in my car, put my tail between my legs and drove home.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

This didn't help.

I am not vain, but a girl likes to be able to catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror and not shudder. 

Is that too much to ask?

So, meanwhile, when you see me...just tell me I look great.

 Lie to me.

I'm okay with that.

rash and all,


**don't even think about asking me to post a picture...not a chance.**

1 comment:

michelle chapman said...

I LOVE you! You literally just made me belly laugh--that's HARD to do w/ my serious soul ;) Not laughing at you, but with you b/c I have been there this week! Face broke out...eye circles...then I noticed yet another broken capillary under my eye! Ugh! Jill--you are ALWAYS perfectly, flawlessly(is this a word)? GORGEOUS! I bet there is not one person that even noticed any flaw you might glow! And I REALLY glow! But, I know exactly how you feel...miss you and wish it wasn't so late or I would call you right now! Xoxo