Sunday, August 29, 2010

Ouch, another thorn.....

These last few weeks I have been learning a lot about grace.  Why is it so hard to do the right thing in the eyes of the Lord? I get so frustrated at times, but I know that if I am not obedient in this area, I am doomed.

I found myself in this position again just this past week. Someone completely rocked my boat, mind you, this wouldn't be the first time. Of course, the thorny fleshy me wants to confront this person face to face, eyeball to eyeball and ask.."what in the world?? are you doing this on purpose?? i mean, really. why must you torment me?"

I have learned to stop, take a deep breath, pray and pray some more during these times. This is not so easy to do though. It has taken so many years, and so many lessons learned to get to this point.

After many imaginary conversations in my head to set this person straight, I heard something whisper in my heart.."Show her love." I knew it was the Lord, but I didn't want to hear it. "No, I don't want to show her love, I want to show her the door! She needs to know she is wrong, and how hurtful she is and how she continues to grate on my nerves."

"Show her love, Jill. No matter what she does. I don't care what she says or does. You will show her love."

Ugggh!!! Not what I want to hear. I shrug my shoulders and let out a huge huff.

I know God is right, He always is. It is just hard, so hard sometimes.  Ouch, another thorn is being removed.

"How can I show her love, Lord..what can I do?"

Before I could even finish the sentence, I knew. He showed me a gesture that I needed to extend to this person.

I knew this would be hard for me because in my mind it would not teach her a lesson, it would make me seem like a fool. It was so opposite of how I wanted to react.

"My ways are higher than your ways, My thoughts higher than your thoughts." This verse came to my mind. Oh Lord, you get me every time!! Sometimes, I wish I didn't know better so that I could just get the last word in and vent my anger. But, I do know better. He knows I do.

After obeying Him, I began to have peace. I started praying for this person. I started imagining how God views this person, and how He loves her. Who was I to want to strike back at one of His children? I know He is protective of ALL His babies. Including me, thankfully,.

My heart is at peace now. It took some time, but I am learning that despite the pain of obedience and going against every molecule in my flesh, doing God's thing is always best. My thorny old flesh still gets the best of me a lot. But, I am happy to say that this time it didn't.

removing one thorn at at time,



Tracey said...

I love how obedient you are. You truly inspire me to be a better person! I'm a lucky girl to know you!

Rebekah Hudgins said...

All I can think is, "let me at `em, let me at `em!!" That isn't scriptural, is it? :)