Thursday, August 26, 2010

It is finished....

~a picture of the cross that we nailed our words on~
Today I am mad. I am angry about a word that has paralyzed me and created an imaginary world of falsehood and unrealistic scenarios. As I ran today in my neighborhood, I was pounding the ground with my feet and imagining this word under them.

It all started at church on Sunday. After a great service, our preacher rolled up two very large wooden crosses to the front of the church. He then told us to look in our church bulletin and find a blank piece of paper. So, I did. He then told us to write down the ONE thing that holds us back. The thing that keeps you from jumping to the next level in life and in Christ. The thing that holds you back from fulfilling your purpose. He said to pray about it before we wrote it down. I immediately thought of the word I would write down. However, after a minute of prayer, another word came into my head in big, bold, blinking red This word was the root of the other word that I was planning on writing down. God knew this.

I took that small, stark white piece of paper and etched that big ugly word on there. It made my stomach ache just writing it. I then folded it in half. Shame came across me as I folded it...this was between God and me.

Our preacher then told us to come up to the front and nail our paper onto the cross. Ummm...what?? Now, I have to walk up to the front?? Oh boy. This was not going to be easy. I thought for a minute about just tucking that piece of paper back into my bible and forgetting about it. Then I thought better of it. God wanted me to do this. I needed to do this.

So, there I went. I got in line behind a young girl and accidentally stepped on her heel. Oops. Not a time for stepping on somebody's foot.

As it became my turn, a man handed me a big hammer and a small nail. My first thought was.."Oh, gosh..I hope I can hammer." I mean, it is not something I do everyday.

I took that ugly word and I pounded it into that big wooden cross. It was done. My word was given to my Lord. I walked back to my seat a little lighter, a little different.

This week has been tough. God is working on me, and in this area. He wants to set me free, and I want to be set free. The hard part is letting go of something that you have gripped with white knuckles for dear life, a very large part of your life.

So, as I ran this morning, by myself....I thought of that word and what it has done to me. It has not been a friend to me. In fact, it has been my enemy.

Thank you, Jesus, for another day of progress. My, not "my" word, but "that "word is on your cross. The power that rose my Jesus from the dead is the same power that will heal this little girl from the scars of that word. It is finished.

no looking back,



Sweet Inlow's said...

Oh Jill I have a lump in my throat.

Praising our Faithful Father for working in you so in turn, you could encourage me.

What an honor to strive to walk in the Light, right along side you, my friend.

Tracey said...

I love this. We had to do this one Wednesday evening at church minus the hammer and nail. We just had to lay it at the alter. I remember it being a very long heavy walk. The walk back to my seat was a bit lighter!

I love reading your heart and I love you,

Mary said...

so proud of you, sis...that takes big girl courage.

praying for you as you continually remind yourself where that word is now, in the best place of all.