I finished the book I was reading..."So long Insecurity, you have been a bad friend to us". Oh my gosh. The last sentence of the book was this..."Now get out there and show some wide-eyed little girls what a secure woman looks like". Wow. All I could think about was my daughter, my nieces, my young babysitter girls. All of their beautiful faces came flooding to my mind. My eyes brimmed over with tears as I pictured each of them.
What kind of example have I been setting thus far? I shudder to imagine. However, with God's unending grace, I have another chance at this thing. He is definitely not finished with me yet. He has just opened my eyes to some deep, dark, and ugly parts that I thought I had hidden even out of His sight. Ha! Was I wrong!
Self-evaluation is tough, but God evaluation is even tougher. He puts that great big spotlight on areas you thought for sure had been buried longer than George Washington himself. Nothing compares to God showing you some things that need attention. It is painful, but OHHHH so worth the suffering.
Girlfriends, I am imploring you to read this book. Just indulge me, please. I say this because I love you. Even if you don't need it for yourself, read it anyway. You know someone who will need the wisdom found in these pages, and you can minister to them.
I feel as if Beth Moore has written my autobiography so to speak with this book. I felt vulnerable and exposed at times because the words that spoke to my heart were so raw and true. Insecurity has been my middle name for the past 35 years, but no more. True security is found in our Lord and Savior, and nothing else. Nothing but Jesus can fill this heart of mine that was so full of self-loathing and self-absorption oddly at the same time. Jesus is the only lasting security. Nothing can hold up to Him.
Now, don't get me wrong...i will still struggle with insecurity. Oh yes. I will just be much more equipped when it rears it's ugly little head. I will know the name, and not mask it as something else. No more silly head games on my part, No more reasoning my behavior with excuses and blame. Pure and simple it is i.n.s.e.c.u.r.i.t.y.
I am thankful that my Mom lent me this book...the book that I actually gave HER for Mother's Day. I guess I subconsciously knew I needed it more and couldn't wait to get my anxious little hands on it. I am so glad that God was able to provide me the time to read it from cover to cover. He knew I needed every ounce of this Truth. Thank you, Lord.
clothing myself with strength and dignity,
"The Lord is your security. He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap." Proverbs 3:26