Funky stuff....

~Lem took this picture in Yosemite this past May. It sums up how I feel right now...I feel like the little river in the middle.

Here comes the journal/therapy part of my blogging world. Okay, I have been in a funk for about 2 weeks now. Not sure why, well, I have a few ideas, but in a definite funk none the less.

We had a blast at St. Simon's last week, but the day before we left I got a phone call. The call was from my friend Kim,telling me that Chris Honeycutt, my friend from high school, had suddenly died. What? Huh?? Like hearing any bad news, my first reaction was that I thought she was joking. I quickly called Lem and asked him to confirm the news for me. After about 5 minutes he called me back with the affirmation of the news.

Chris left behind his beautiful wife, Nicole, who was also his high school sweet heart, and left 3 little boys behind. Too much to fathom, right? My stomach is still knotted up and distorted from this tragedy.

The very next day my friend Heather called me to tell me that the cancer had spread to her stomach and the prognosis was not good. The doctors do not expect her to live very much longer. In fact, she has already lived way beyond their expectations. Heather has been the subject of several of my earlier blogs, she just amazes and inspires me. She has a son, Scotty, who just happens to be spending the night here tonight. He is a precious boy, who will soon be left mother-less. His father lives in Virginia and is an alcoholic. He has no rights to Scotty. A lot of other sad factors play into this story, I will spare you the details. However, sadness consumes my every thought regarding this matter.

The very next day I found out that a very close friend's husband was let go of his job. This was very unexpected and disheartening. However, I know this family is being led to greener pastures. They love God and are faithful that He is leading them to another door.

Lastly, the day we came home from vacation, I took a walk in my neighborhood and spoke with 2 ladies that live down the street from us. They informed me that my next door neighbor, Jessica, had a double mastectomy over the weekend, she was now home recovering. What?? When did all of this happen? I had no idea she was even sick. What in the world??

Again, this just reaffirms my belief that we are so "connected" with people across the world from us, via facebook, or twitter, or whatever, but have no idea the needs of the people in our own backyards...literally. I want to change this in my life. God has put me in this area, in this town, in this very neighborhood for a reason. My location is a part of my ministry to others. Talking to people across a computer screen, is not my idea of a connection....on any level.

Perhaps all of this is the cause of the funk? I know God is in control, I know this with all of my heart. I just can't seem to shake the heaviness of it all. My personality is very sanguine, usually. However, I have found myself not exactly chirping in the morning and ready for whatever comes my way. I find myself wanting to sleep a little longer, and groggier than usual when I do get up. This is not like me. I know it is temporary, I know I am just grieving for these loved ones. These people that didn't ask for what has been dealt to them. They are people just like you and me. Living their lives, loving God.

So, if you are reading this post, please lift up a prayer for these grieving hearts. Hearts that need peace, comfort, healing, and maybe just a little connection. Some real connection from us.

trying to de-funk,

Jill