Empty.....

I know I have some readers that are not SHINE subscribers, so I wanted to post this here on this site.

This subject has been on my heart for weeks, and I knew the Lord was leading me to write about it. It was a hard post to write. Only because it's so personal. Sometimes it's hard putting a mirror up to your soul, because you don't always like what you see.

But, if we don't see---we don't know change is needed. The Lord shines the light on the places that need revealing---and healing.

Thursday SHINE:

Happy Thursday, SHINE sisters! Is this week flying by, or is it just me? Maybe it's because Numbers has picked up the pace a bit. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE all the words in the Bible. However, some stories just take a little longer to get through, you know?

I've never been big on numbers, anyway. Numbers in the numerical sense. Counting, adding, anything math-ish....blah, blah, blah.

Just not my thing.

So, when the Bible speaks of the number of sacrifices being made in explicit detail, I get a little lost. A little distracted.

 My mind wanders to other things--i need to call the dentist, i need to go to the gym today,  wonder what I can scrape up for dinner, did I wash Lem's underwear, i desperately need a pedicure, Oh, and my fingernails--yikes! where's that cute nail polish, did i leave it at the beach....

 {The Lord knows this is how I operated, He made me this way.}

Moving on.

So, our memory verse has had me thinking, pondering, and praying ALL week.

Am I hungry for Him?? Am I really hungry for Him?

Oh my, how the Lord knows how I have in the past filled my heart with everything but Him.

I would cram everything into this God-sized hole thinking it would fill that void that only belongs to our True Love, The Father.

For me, it wasn't a substance, but it was a a lot of other things. Things that I would literally crave, because there was such emptiness there.

Since I'm prone to being an open book, I will just share with you what those things were.

Approval. Being liked. Being sought after.

Oh, yeah. That was me.

I looked high and low, in every dark crevice I could find to get an approval fix. It's true.

My desparation for approval only drew me further from Him. I would go on approval binges, seriously.

For me this is what it looked like: Calling the friends I knew would tell me what I wanted to hear. Getting on social media and blowing it up with "please, please look at me!" phrases and such. Oh, yeah.  Let's just let it all hang out, shall we?

The fix would come. I would be on a high. Then guess what? I would crash and burn. Every single time.

Maybe you don't have an approval addiction. Maybe it's something else that you fill that hole with.  {Oh, and trust me I have many more things I've tried to stick in that hole, we will just stick to this one today.}

Friend, let me tell you from personal experience, there is NOTHING in this world that can fill you up, and satisfy that void, like Jesus Christ. NOTHING.

When the Lord showed me, after much misery over my crashing and burning, that I was looking in all the wrong places--I then had a choice.

I could believe Him, and start filling that gaping hole with Him. OR, I could believe Him, but not really trust Him with that hole.

Not trusting Him with that hole for me looked like this: Continuing to go to the places I knew I could still get my fix. Just in case, He didn't show up for me.

Oh, I'm cringing now. The truth hurts.

I've learned {after many failed attempts of not trusting Him} to trust Him. Believe Him.

Instead of devouring the world and the many things luring me to get my fix, I started to allow my heart and my mind to be lured by Him.

Girls, there's nothing else more satiating.

There is a verse that keeps popping up everywhere I go. I love when He does this. It's His reminder to me that I desperately need Him. No matter how far I think I've come, I'm just a "fix" away from being back in that empty place.


"For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him."
2 Chronicles 16:9

Do me a favor and read that verse again. Let it sink in.

Friends, where are your hearts?

Are you hungry for Him?

What is the first thing you crave each morning? Is it Him? Or is it everything but Him.

Do you just go to Him when you have tried everything else and realize it's not filling you up?

Or, are you maintaining your heart by a daily dose of filling that empty space with His Word, and His Truth.

Did you know that physiologically speaking we often mistake thirst for hunger? Yes! Often times, we are feeling the craving for water, but instead go straight to food. Meanwhile, we are dehydrated and don't even realize it.

It's the same way with these "fixes" we get ourselves into. We choose the wrong thing to fill that hole--and end up dry as a desert.

Let me just shoot real straight.....

We often go to others for this filling or this fix. We go to Pinterest, to Twitter, to Facebook, just looking for that cozy scripture, or that perfect inspirational quote from someone we admire. We long to find someone who can give us just the "spring" we need to get us feeling good. To get us back on track. To get our "fix."

The enemy will use any tool, even seemingly innocent ones, to draw us away from seeking The Father. When we start to use these tools as a "replacement" for our time spent with Him and His Word--the enemy wins. We lose. Every time.

Can I just be real?

Let's quit looking to be inspired, and let's start looking to get infused.

Infused with His Word.

Infused by Him.

Oh mercy me! I think we will stop here. I think I've given us enough to chew on today.
{i may choke!}


stepping on my very own toes,

jill