Monday, May 11, 2009
The story that I am about to tell you is surreal in a sense. My heart is still misty with the tears of complete and overwhelming joy that it cried after yesterdays events.
I awaken to Mother's Day. This day begins with my cup of decaf coffee and a hug from my children. The hugs could have easily been my gift, nothing else needed. Love those soft kisses and hugs, is there anything better, really?
After we all eat breakfast, I ask Lem for a few minutes to have quiet time in my bedroom, just me and God. He politely obliges. For the next few minutes, I soak in the glory of time alone with my thoughts and alone with Jesus. I can't help the smile that forms on my lips as I just soak in His magnitude and glory.
Ten minutes later, I hear footsteps, and I smile again. Here they come. The most beloved sound to my ears...their sweet voices and footsteps coming my way. I sit up straight in the bed, awaiting their arrival. Much like a princess awaits her prince. (of course, with no make-up and my gown still on. i was far from princess material..let me tell you.)
They each are carrying gifts and sheets of paper, unfolded. I take each piece of paper and read them out loud....my voice getting raspier and raspier as my heart inhales the aroma of such love.
Lem had asked the children 5 of their favorite things about having me as their mommy...this is what they said...
1) She makes good dinners (bless him)
2) She makes us eat healthy foods. (if chicken fingers are considered healthy..okay then)
3) She makes us lemonade. (it's the little things, i guess)
4) She is the most lovable mommy.
5) She has a lot of friends. (?????)
He then drew a picture of me with a crown on my head and put "Two Lives...A Queen and a Mom...make that the best Mom."
Could you just die??? Oh my goodness, it was all I could do not to take him in my arms and ravish him with one gulp. I'm in love, can you tell??
Now for my baby girl...Presley's card..
1) She takes me to movies.
2) She gives me breakfast. (like any mother should)
3) She takes me out to eat with Maw-Maw (selfish on my part, i love being with Maw-Maw too!)
4) She lets me have some of her money. (if pennies and nickels count, okay.)
5) She gives me a hug. (probably smothering her with the hugs, i'm sure of it. )
If that didn't send me straight to heaven, Lem handed me a piece of paper with the five things that he loves about me as well. Wow. Put a fork in me. I'm done!!
After many hugs and thank yous, we head to church. We had a wonderful lunch with my parents and then headed to the grocery store. This is one of my favorite, yet not done often enough, things to do. I LOVE being with my husband and kids at the grocery store.
We then head home and I hurriedly brush my teeth and head out the door to meet Mom and Angela in Oconee County. My niece was having her Spring Musical and it's been a tradition to go for the past 2 years. Just us girls. (except for this year, Dad and Jordan came along..which was just fine with us. )
After the show, we head to dinner, then I head home. I call Lem and tell him I am on my way. I thought he was asleep because he sounded so drowsy. Oh well, guess he's not waiting up I thought to myself.
I pull in the driveway and walk in the door. The smell of air freshener hits me like a wave, and you know me, I am instantly happy. Clean, Clean, Clean! I know this smell, and I like it very much.
He greets me at the door and tells me to come inside and look around. The house is spotless, the kids are in bed. Is there any better feeling?? Clean house, kids in bed, happy hubby= pure bliss!
Nonchalantly, he tells me that my bath is ready and waiting for me. I smile a big and toothsome smile, and head to my bathing quarters.
I walk to the dresser to get out a gown to slip on after my bath. I glance over at my desk, and a letter is sitting on the desk with "Jill" inscribed on it. Being the only "Jill" in the house-hold, I immediately go to open the letter.
5 pages and 5 million tears later, I finish. In this letter were the most tender words ever uttered to me in written or verbal fashion. I re-read it, hanging on to every morsel.
Without going into any personal detail, I will just share some of the words so that you can get an idea of the heart that lies in my husband.
".....it just seems that lately you have been questioning if you are doing things right. If you are a good mother, daughter, and wife. I don't know how others feel or how you feel about those things. However, I can give you my feelings on how you are doing in those aspects of your life."
He then goes on to list 5 areas and expounds into some deep waters with his gentle words . Nothing was amiss with his list and his words. Nothing. He touched on every area that encompasses my life. Everything that is important to me, everything that matters. The list of 5 was as follows...
~Being a Mother
~Being a Christian
~Being a daughter
~Being a friend
~Being a wife
After reading his words, I have never felt more loved, more understood, more taken care of, more cared for, more affirmed, more encouraged, more noticed. He gets me. He really gets me. All of these things that I question about myself.....my insecurities, my second guessing, he sees all of them. Even when I think he isn't paying attention. He sees my heart as much as I try to keep it under wraps at times to protect myself from hurt or disappointment. He sees through my mask that I often wear. He sees right down to the marrow of my bones. And he loves me still.
I have no problem being submissive to this man. He has proven his wisdom and his strength time and time again. I would be lost without him.
All I have to say is that my children could not have a better role model in their lives than their Daddy. He is a good, no not good, a great man.
Lem's love for me is undeniable, unmistakable, and uncommon. If I didn't know this before last night, I do now.
I also know that only God can produce a love like this. It doesn't come from nature, or from instinct. It is a gift from the Lord that must be cherished and sometimes pruned in order to grow. I am thankful for a husband that seeks the Lord in this area. He knows he can't love me like I need to be loved without the Lord leading him and guiding him.
I'm loving my "fives".
my prince awaits,
p.s...I am reading a book that you must start reading as soon as you can get to the nearest book store. It is "The Love Dare". I will post about it this week...it's been quite a journey and I am only on Day 5!! If you are married, whether happily or not so happily, you need this book. More to come...stay tuned! xoxo