As I sit at my little black desk with my afternoon hot tea, I ponder the absolute teeth gritting trials of being a mom. Being a mom has fulfilled me in more ways than I could have ever imagined. I am not so sure that I even really truly existed before motherhood. Most of my memories are vague and just seem pretty petty from where i sit right now. What did i do everyday?? What in the world did i worry about?? My mind can barely recall because it seems such a dark and distant memory.
Anyway, back to reality. Sometimes I feel like a complete idiot when it comes to parenting. I mean, I know what I should do, and yet when situations arise that cause for me to utilize complete control and smarts, I somehow fail the test. =( I get flabbergasted and overwhelmed and before i know it, I am the child with the pouty lip and shrugged shoulders. Thank goodness this isn't a daily occurence, but when it does happen, i feel defeated and completely out witted by my children.
The reason for such a pouty and whiny blog is due to my trip to Kroger today. Oh yes, the wonderful world of groceries with 2 children. It started out very controlled and relaxed until Joseph decided he wanted to walk instead of ride in the little race car with his sister. Well, this made since because his ever growing legs just do not seat well in this little toddler car anymore. After trying to smush him back in, I agreed to let him walk with me. Well, Princess Presley in the toddler race car was not too keen on this idea. This left her alone at the wheel. After she screamed and hollered for Joseph to return to his seat, I kindly asked Joseph if he would try and sit back in the little seat next to her. He tried his best to squeeze back in. but this time to no avail. Presley then proceeds to scream a blood curdling scream for her brother to get in with her. Meanwhile I am trying to keep it together and act the well-kept, cool-as -a cucumber, not rattled kind of Mom. I gently chide her and tell her that she will not be getting a prize if this behavior continues. Not only did this not work, she bucked and kicked her way out of the car and pitched a certified, no holds barred tantrum in the middle of the bread isle. As my mind is spinning and my pulse quickens, I mentally kick myself for not bringing my wooden spoon inside. Not only am i beating myself up for feeling like a lousy mommy, I look around and see gawkers most assuredly feeling sorry for me with my no-makeup, gym clothes, greasy pontytail self. I casually and coyly smile as I pick Presley up into my arms and carry her out of the store. Meanwhile, Joseph starts asking if he can still have his prize since he was so good. Ugghhh...just get me out of here.
When I finally get to the car, she is still wailing at maximum volume. I go to the drive thru at Chic fil a to get lunch for Joseph and myself and she is STILL crying at the top of her lungs. My hands are shaking as I pull up to the window and hand her my money in exchange for food. I rolled down the window ever so slightly so that the noise would be somewhat muffled and so that I would not be humiliated again. The lady gave me a feel-sorry for me kind of smile and i sped away wanting to crawl under a rock and die.
Justice was served with the trusty wooden spoon when we returned home and for now all is well. Presley is now happy and smiling as if nothing ever happened.
I am laughing now as I write this and thinking to myself what fun motherhood is. How many stories about our children could we all share and roll on the floor laughing until our stomachs couldn't take anymore? Nothing bonds us more as women than the sheer throws of motherhood and all that comes with it. The laughter, the love, the pain, the sacrifice, the forgiveness, the heart bleeding worry, the wonderment, and the unspeakable JOY that comes from it.
What more could humble us and self-deprecate ourselves more than experiencing motherhood everyday? If it is true that trials and tribulations make us stronger and wiser than amen AND oh me!!
Orlando pics to come...my battery in my camera is dead. When it charges up I will post some pics from our vacation.