Finding my way....

 I find myself in a quiet house again. The boy is off at college. The girl begins her sophomore year of high school. 

Looking back, I knew this time was coming...again. I just seem to never be ready. 

When I was a little girl, all I EVER wanted was to be a mother. I had no desires to work outside of the home. 

I would sit on that big yellow school bus watching mothers walk their children out to the bus stop in their house coats and huge mugs of coffee. I wanted that. Desperately. 

Senior year, my high school counselor asked me what I wanted to "do" after high school. I looked down with cheeks blushing and found these words falling out of my mouth,  "Umm, well.....I want to get married and have children."

He told me he had never had anyone tell him this and then thanked me for being honest. 

Those dreams never died. 

God fulfilled them in His time, and I will be grateful until I breathe my last breath. 

So, when I find myself in a quiet home....

I am unsure of how I am to feel. 

He brought me here. I knew this was coming. I know He has plans for me after my children leave the nest...

But, I also feel unequipped for anything else. I feel utterly inadequate at attempting life outside of this house. 

Vulnerable and honest and raw....and true. 

If I let it, sadness will come in waves. I steady myself and swallow hard. 

Every season has purpose. 

I dig my heels in and repeat what I know is Truth. 

He has a plan. He has a plan. He has a plan. 

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9

Motherhood fits me. Like a well worn pair of shoes. I am comfortable here. 

I know I will always be a mother, long after my kids begin new lives with new people. 

But, it is the mundane. The chaos. The crazy. The carpools. The long waits for practice to be over. The constant tripping over big teenage shoes scattered all over the floor. 

This is all I know. And have ever known for a very long time. 

My prayer daily is. "Lord, use me. Use any gift you have given me to serve others. I need to be used up."

He shapes our hearts. He chisels and He smoothes. 

He wants us dependent on Him and Him alone. 

I find myself immersed in the book of Daniel. I think of him often throughout my days. 

He prayed. He prayed. And he prayed. 

Lord, is this what you want from me?

I have time to do this. I can do this. 

Perhaps these quiet seasons that come are for this very purpose. To pause. To pray. 

We can be busy and still pray...

But, something happens in the spirit when our world is quiet. When the rhythm of life slows down for a bit and you can actually hear yourself think for once. 

You hear things you could not hear before. You notice things you never noticed before. 

So, I will be content here. I will steady my heart and I will trust in a plan much bigger than mine. 

He is Good. He is Faithful. He is Sovereign. This, I know.

What season do you find yourself in at the moment?

What if we trust God here. What if we surrender it all to Him. The busy, the quiet, the lonely, the chaos...

Lay it at His feet and ask Him to lead the way. Ask Him to give us Grace and Patience and Mercy as we navigate this unfamiliar path. 

"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. " Psalm 119:105

still tripping over tennis shoes, 

jill

Goodbye School Year....

Well, it is the end of another school year. Goodbye 5th grade and goodbye 9th grade. Here are a few memories from Presley's award night. I didn't have any pictures from Joseph's award night, because we were not sitting close enough to get good pics. And, well, he is in high school and it is kind of embarrassing to him to snap pictures like the crazy mad woman that I am.

Maybe he won't care next year.

 

This year has FLOWN by. Probably because we moved in December, and life got a lot crazy.

 

 

This has been a year of many changes.

 

 

• After 3 1/2 years, Danny went back to live with his parents.
• Joseph started high school.
• We MOVED.

 

Whew. No more changes for a while, ok?

 

 

One thing is for sure...we are ready for SUMMER!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twinsies.

These kids. I love them all.

I love this face.

A fun night!!

Cheering on our girl!

Proud of little sis.

Music Award, A/B honor roll, and Khan Academy award!



True Presley form.

Two are better than one....

When my children were born, I began a journal for them. I would write them letters each time I had the chance to sit down. Which was very rare.

I still write in these journals when I have time. Which, again, is very rare.

Today I witnessed such love and friendship among my circle of friends. I was literally moved to tears over an act of love that was done for our precious friend, Erin. Erin's husband Chuck was in a terrible accident at work two weeks ago. Truly, it is a miracle he is alive.

Chuck will be coming home from the hospital this weekend. Finally.

On a side note, we are trying to raise 10,000 to help them in their time of need. If you feel led to donate any amount, please visit this Go Fund Me link. Thank you so much.

Erin's friends decided that we all needed to make her home "ready" for when they arrive. It was a beautiful sight to see my friends cleaning, scrubbing, folding clothes, vacuuming, and wiping down counter tops. A sight I will NEVER forget.

Here we are...I promise I don't usually wear a dress when I clean. Although, I am a dead ringer for June Cleaver in this picture.

When I pulled out of the drive way, I broke down in tears. I was literally broken by the love that took place in that house.

I immediately thanked the Lord for friends like this. I then prayed that my children would be surrounded by these kinds of friends.

Here is a letter that I wrote to my daughter Presley telling her the importance of friendship. I am definitely not an expert on the subject, but I have definitely learned some things along the way.
Words will never be able to properly convey my heart, but here goes.

Dear Presley,

Today I witnessed a beautiful sight. I wish so much you could have been with me. I would have loved for you to witness such a gift of love. You surely would have never forgotten this day. I know that I never will.

Here is my take away from today:

Choose your friendships wisely.

Pray for God to guide you to the right friends.

Surround yourself with godly girlfriends.

Be a good friend.

Show up for your friends. [Even when you don't know what to say, show up anyway.]

Make time for friendships. [you will need them one day.]

Be a loyal friend. If you would not say something to your friend's face, then do not say it behind her back. This is HUGE. People will catch on quickly if you are always tearing down someone else.

Be the kind of friend that you want in return. [enough said]

Be an encourager of your friends. Always. No matter what.

Be an encourager of your friends marriage. NEVER dog your friend's spouse. Ever. Support your friends marriage every chance you get. Be very leery of a friend who sets you against your spouse. Dangerous ground. Very dangerous ground.

Be a listener. Let me repeat: Be a listener. Don't hog the conversation with all of your stuff. Take time to hear your friend. You just may learn something by listening.

Pray for your friends. Daily. Cover them in prayer. Thank God for them and pray blessings upon them and their family.

Don't take everything personal. Really, it's not all about you. Be a big girl. Try not to be so sensitive to every little thing in your friendships. It's annoying to be so sensitive that people have to walk on eggs shells around you.

Encourage your friends to be friends with each other. This is the BEST thing ever. When the people you love meet other people you love, it just makes life FUN!!!

Love your friend's children. Take the time to get to know them. Talk to them. Look them in the eyes. The friends that I am the closest to, LOVE my children. This is so HUGE. When friends love on your kids, it makes for an even sweeter friendship.

Give everyone the benefit of the doubt. EVERY single time. This will give your heart so much peace. So MUCH PEACE. Never assume the worst. Ever. Give everyone in your life mercy. Endless mercy. Because you will want mercy as well.

Nobody is perfect. Not even you. Don't expect your friends to be perfect. They will fail you in this. And you will fail them. Be gracious and make it a habit to overlook their faults on a very regular basis. You will want them to overlook yours.

Support your friends. Be their biggest fan. Toot their horn for them. Tell the world of their gifts and talents. Everyone needs a friend like this. Even if you think they don't need another fan...they DO! Be their biggest cheerleader.

Do not ever be jealous of your friends having other friends. Encourage them in other friendships. Be glad for them. Nobody likes a jealous friend.

Jealousy will enter in at some point with certain friends. FIGHT against it with prayer. Jealousy will destroy relationships in one fail swoop. Do not let your friendships be taken down by this ugly green-eyed monster. Pray against a jealous heart on a daily basis.

When your friends find success, be happy for them! Be truly happy for them! Let them know how happy you are---and mean it!

Call your friends back. Text your friends back. Even if it is just a short little message. Let them know they are important. It's rude and tactless to never respond.  Try to be diligent with this. [I am still working on this too!]

Know your friends' birthdays. Call them or send them a card. Celebrate them! Don't you love to be celebrated?

If you are caught in the middle of a conversation where another friend is being torn apart, be brave. Speak up and take up for your friend. Silence is not always golden. You can still be kind to the friends that are tearing to pieces the other friend. Just let them know you do not want to be a part of this kind of conversation. Your friends will appreciate your bravery. And they will probably secretly hope to have your courage one day. They will also know and appreciate that you would take up for them as well.

Be leery of friends who always have a "secret" to share about someone else. They will be sharing your secrets too. Be careful. The bible tells us not to "throw our pearls to pigs." Take this to heart. Along with this, guard a friend who has entrusted a secret to you with your life. Throw away the key.

Remember, friendships can go through seasons. Don't get discouraged if you find yourself a little distant or out of sync with certain friends. Don't focus on the distance. Focus on the ones you have right in front of you in that season. Seasons come and go. Enjoy each friend in each season.

Don't forget to LAUGH with your friends! Even in the sad times, find the JOY! God's Word says that a cheerful heart is the best medicine. IT IS TRUE.

Surround yourself with different ages of friends. Older ones, younger ones, and ones that are the same age. You will learn from ALL OF THEM. I promise you this!

Have at least one or two friends that are mentors to you. Friends that you can learn things from in being a wife and in motherhood. Do not be intimidated by these kind of friends. Soak up every ounce of their wisdom on a regular basis. I cannot stress to you how important this is! Highlight this one!


Oh, Presley. I am praying for your friendships. What a gift it will be to my heart to see you surrounded by godly girlfriends as you grow up. You can count on me to daily encourage you in this area. I will daily pray for you to be that kind of friend as well.

I love you. So much.

your biggest fan,


Mommy

 

 

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Our little stars.....

Back in December my babies participated in a guitar concert at our local coffee shop, Perk Avenue. 

Presley sang "We are never getting back together" by Taylor Swift. Joseph played his guitar to "Silent Night."

Needless to say, we were PROUD!!! Here are a few pictures of them and their supporters!

Maw Maw & Paw Paw

Kim & Aunt Angie

Anna-Joy

Amberlee & Jordan

Presley and Mr. Kris [her guitar teacher]

Joseph plays Silent Night with Emily and Mr. Kris

William, Aunt Jess, Uncle Rob, and Mama Jane 

You are Ten....

a sweet cake for a sweet girl!

admiring your yummy cake!

a morning walk this Summer with you on St. Simon's Island

blowing out TEN candles as family looks on!

celebrating at Mama Jane's with pizza and strawberry cake!

Your birthday morning---you are TEN!

checked you out early on your birthday!
 we were sitting in line at carpool waiting to get Joseph!

my baby girl with curlers in your hair

the night before you turned 10!!

Dear Presley Jane,

As I type, you, Daddy, and Joseph are out having dinner with Maw Maw and Paw Paw. I am devastated to not be there. As you know, I woke up sick this morning. It started yesterday. You prayed last night with tears in your eyes that I would not be sick today--on your big birthday.

I would give anything to be cooking your favorite meal, spaghetti, tonight. However, you know I will make it up to you as soon as mommy is better.

I just wanted to take a minute and tell you how much you mean to me.

You are the sunshine in my days.

You were born on a cold December day, but you are absolute WARM SUNSHINE.

The little things that you do, that make you so perfectly you, make me melt.

Your toes are my favorite. I have been obsessed with them since you were born.

Your dimple on the top of your left cheek. It is the most precious little feature I have ever seen.

My favorite thing to do with you is snuggle in my bed. We love watching movies together while the boys are in the den watching sports. You are forever my girl.

Sometimes, as a mommy, I feel guilty that I am not doing enough. I guess all mommy's feel this way sometimes. I constantly question myself and wonder if you know how much I love you.

Do I spend enough time with you? Am I too strict? Too lenient?

I am constantly trying to make sure I am a good momma to you.

You will probably have these same thoughts when you are a momma. You can read this letter again, and rest assure that you are not alone.

Your daughter or son will adore you. It's not about doing everything right, or being perfect, it's just about being there. A smile. A hug. A kiss. Encouragement.

As a mommy, there are many distractions that are tempting to lure us away from our kids and our families. I can only imagine that by the time you are a mommy, it will even be much harder.

Presley, don't let the world pull you away from the ones you love. It will try. Really hard.

Pray to the Lord and ask Him to help you keep your life in proper order. God first. Your husband and your kids next. Nothing is more important than the time you are given to spend with your family.

Sometimes I wish I could just keep all of you in this house, and never let you go. I want to soak up every single ounce of you. I don't want to miss a moment with you.

Daily, I pray that God will give me the strength to watch you and Joseph grow up. I know He will.

However, even when you are grown, I will still have a very  important role. Your mother. This job never ends. It's in full-demand at all times.

I need my mother just as much today as I did when I was your age. Just in different ways.

God created mothers to care, nurture, support, encourage, cheer on, listen, and talk to. This goes on your whole life! How happy this makes me!!

Presley, I will make mistakes. I have made many already. However, I know that that's not what you will remember. You will remember the times when I wasn't trying. When I was just being your mother. Loving you.

I am still in absolute AWE by the fact that the Lord gave you to us to raise.

He must have thought we were the perfect family for you. How BLESSED we are!!!

I love you, Presley Jane Hill.

Happy 10th birthday, our angel.


love,

mommy