Lem's grandmother, Granny Hill, died on March 27th. We were all so sad, yet happy for the reunion that was taking place in Heaven.
Since around that time, I have had such a restless spirit. Waking up in sweaty panic, a restless mind, confusion about some things....and the list goes on.
This has truly been going on since March.
Just this week, the Lord has given me a rested heart. A heart at peace. Finally.
Sometimes, my head gets away from me. I think, and think, and think, and then I analyze...everything.
It can be exhausting. Let me rephrase: It IS exhausting.
However, God has been telling me to "be still". Over and over, I hear Him whisper this to me.
As a wife, momma, daughter, friend.....we play so many roles. It can be overwhelming to say the least.
I'm always doing a mental checklist of the things I need to do, or not do, or check on......
I can get wrapped up in "doing", instead of just "being".
Hence---a restless spirit.
I get caught up in the crazy cycle of chaos---and it takes a while for me to find the exit ramp!
Well this week I found it.
As I was walking in my neighborhood this afternoon,, I just kept hearing this verse:
"But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. " Psalm 131:2 The Lord is so sweet. He is just so gentle when He speaks. He reminded me of my role: To abide in Him. Nothing else. When I abide in Him, the chaos is still there, but my heart is at peace. He is the calm in the storm. Sometimes I feel like I am just chasing and chasing Him. Which is just funny, because He cannot be chased. He is " I Am that I Am". He is in the present with me. No need in running after Him, because He is here. With me. All the time. If only I can remember this. Perhaps, I will need to check back on this post from time to time to remind me. "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence?" Psalm 139:7