Saturday, October 15, 2011

Bittersweet Day 25...

Today is bittersweet for me. As, I prayed yesterday and this morning, I felt the Lord leading me to the end of our Love Dare. I kept listening to Him, and asking back to Him in prayer..."Are you sure, God??"

When we started this Love Dare, I had only planned on doing it for a few days leading up to our 13th wedding anniversary. However, I felt the Lord leading us to keep going with it. I remember several of you asking me how long we were going to do this? I kept saying..."I have no idea. Until God tells me it's time to end it."

Never, in a million years, could I have imagined what the Lord had planned on doing through this Love Dare! I had just whimsically thought it would be fun to do this to Lem for a few days in honor of our anniversary. However, God had other plans! He lead all of you down the same Love Dare path.

You are all so uniquely special to the Lord. He hand-picked all of YOU to be on this journey. Doesn't that blow your mind? Oh, how he loves you, sweet friends.

As I am typing, Lem is in the kitchen making me breakfast. This is very rare, by the way! (must have something to do with this Love Dare!) :)

The kids are at my Mom's, and I am on my bed with my laptop in my lap. Tears are stinging my eyes as I picture what great and mighty things God has done through our Love Dare.

I will probably never know the full impact of our prayers and our daily acts of love and kindness on this journey. But, God does. He hears every single prayer. Every last one of them.

Never, ever give up on God. He is still and wait for Him. His way is so much greater than ours. Trust Him in all areas of your life.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

He wants the very best for our marriages, girls. Let's don't ever, ever get caught in the trap of any areas of our lives.

God is never mediocre, and He doesn't want us to be either.

Be excellent, everything you do! Live your life in excellence!

This doesn't mean being "perfect" either. Only God is perfect. Excellence means doing our very best.

Praying daily and letting the Lord really be the LORD of our lives!

If we put Him first, everything else will fall into place. Trust Him on this.

Live out the Love Dare every single day of your life! This is not a temporary journey, friends. It is a life long journey!

On November 12th, we are having a Love dare date night at our house. I sent an evite last week. If you haven't received it, please let me know and I will send it again.

I hope to see all of you here! I can't wait to see your faces and hug your sweet necks!

Day 25 and beyond:

Stay in His word.



Love more.

Love even more.

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Colossians 3:12-15

not settling for less than God's best,


Day 24...

Fun Friday, here we are again!

Today is short and sweet.....but mostly FUN!

Day 24:

Have fun with your man! Play with him, smile at him, chase him around the house!

Be playful!

Lem loves when I am playful with him. It causes him to be less stressed and lighthearted. In turn, it makes me relax too!

So, wrestle on the floor with him, run around the house with him, get a good fun family game going...whatever you love to play, for heavens sake....PLAY!

Is this easy enough?

Have fun with this, girls!

"But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful." Psalm 68:3

footloose and fancy free,


Thursday, October 13, 2011

Day 23...

It's Thursday already! Time flies when you are thankful, right? ;)

I hope you found that being thankful is a good, good thing for our hearts. It keeps us centered...on Christ.

Since our hearts are so full of thankfulness after's dare we will act on our thankfulness.

Day 23:

Thank You.

As I type this, I am laughing because I am thinking of my Mom. She cannot stand when people say "thanks". She prefers "thank you." It's just one of her little pet peeves.

I kind of see her point of view. It just seems a little more thoughtful when we say, "thank you." (although, i find myself saying "thanks" a lot instead...oops.)

So, the point of today's dare...

Tell your husband "thank you" today.

How many times have we thought "thank you", but never said it out loud. Sometimes Lem will help me with something, and I am very grateful, but I forget to say thank you.

If he pours your coffee, or wipes his feet before entering the house, or does anything remotely worthy of a thank you....tell him!

Be extra aware of making sure he knows how thankful you are for his little gestures.

The second part of this dare...(yep, you are not getting off that easy!)

Tell 2 friends or family members thank you. Think of something someone has done for you recently...and thank them.

You can call them, text them, write them a note, or tell them face to face...whatever you prefer. Just thank them.

I want us (especially myself!) to get into the habit of "thankful thinking". It really does make a difference and create a new heart and mindset for us.

Go, girls...go say thank you!

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." Colossians 2:6-7

thanking God for all of YOU,


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Day 22...

It's Wednesday!

As I started praying yesterday for the Lord to reveal to me what He wants us to do today for our dare...I became overwhelmed with gratefulness. Overwhelmed by how much He loves me and YOU! Overwhelmed with how personal He is with us.

It's truly knock-you-to-your-knees incredible, His love for us.

So, as I prayed, I kept hearing the scripture that I sent all of you over the weekend:

 "Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thess. 5:16-18.

In my life, I often forget to give thanks. Yes, I pray...but I am usually "requesting" instead of thanking Him.

As I was folding clothes, I looked around my bedroom and saw pictures of my husband and my children surrounding me. Tears flooded my eyes. What in the world do I have not to be thankful for?

If I am thankful, I can't be bitter. I can't be angry. I can't be sulky or pouty.

If I am thankful, I can't be ungrateful.

Day 22:

Today's dare is to pray all day today and give thanks to our Lord. Thank Him for everything you see and everything you do today. If you are sitting in carpool, or driving to work, or just watching the News...give Him thanks.

When we fill our minds with this kind of thankfulness, the dark and ugly places have no place to reside.

Beware: You will find yourself smiling a lot today. How do I know?? I practiced this dare all day yesterday so that I would be good and ready for today. My mouth couldn't help but smile as I praised Him and thanked Him.

What does this have to do with our husbands?

Oh, a whole lot!!

When we are thankful, they can see it. They want to see their women happy! They want their women to smile!

Certainly, that smile of yours is what drew you him to you in the first place, right?

Go, give thanks..and smile!

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful aned thankful." Colossians 4:2

can't help but smile,


Day 21.....

Hey, girls! Hope y'all are still hanging in here with me!

I have to admit, this has been one of the MOST fun things that I have ever done. Hopefully, you all feel the same way. :)

We are not far from the end of our Love Dare...which makes me sad. BUT--we still have a few good days left!

Mrs. Teddi Holt...a very wise and godly woman...wrote today's love dare for us. Read and be blessed!

Day 21:

-Tim LaHaye’s book, One Home Under God, that I read years ago helped me with this:

He said, “Ladies I don’t know why God said submit to your husbands first, before he said to the husbands, Love your wives as Christ does the Church.” He just did.

It was for me, like, the answer to the child’s question, “Why is the sky blue?”

Or, to a teacher, “Why are there rule breakers in the English language?”

The same answer of course to all of the above is …”It just is.”

That was probably when I was in my early 30’s. It wasn’t until then, actually, after I had my 3rd son, that I knew anything truly about the Holy Spirit actually talking to me. I knew he was there, but I didn’t know like Benny Hinn’s book, Good Morning, Holy Spirit, that the paraclete, just like Jesus was sent to be in me and walk me through this life.

I would ask the LORD, “Why me? Why must I change? Why doesn’t Tim have to change and make me feel better or do things I want?”

The LORD, so patient with that “me”, would say, “Aren’t you the one trying to know me? Aren’t you the one praying and asking for help? You can’t change him, but you can only change you!”

Years later, I’m still working on me! But, oh how I’ve changed..Praise the LORD GOD of Heaven and earth. I no longer have to be right! I no longer know best! I no longer have to have my say! LOL!!!...

That was and is tremendous change! I came here knowing everything…;)!..and telling everybody so! It was in my genes! Still is! Looking at my grandgirls, I see those leadership qualities as they “ya-ya at each other..not giving in…coming to a stalemate..” They, like me need that gentle persuasion to give and take.

Now, I know we’ve done some romantic things during this “dare” study. Funny, for Jill to ask me, because my husband’s love language is “work”. He feels love when I work for and with him. That’s even flirtatious to him…”turns him on”..I guess you’d say.

So, to be his helpmate, the Eve this Adam needs..the one who completes him…I had to decide that I …and I mean the WORD says it clearly…I was made for him…not him for me. I complete him…not the other way around.

We love the proverbial woman section of our Bibles…and desire to be her…but her husband is known in the gates because of her…not the other way around…

Dare for today is:

Love you husband with his love language…not yours! Mine…and I have more than one! …are words of affirmation and time..and touch. Not his!! I don’t remember them all…I think I’m missing one…but his is “having things done …work!”

I melt when he says “Good job!” He knows he does a good job! He wants me to do …like he loves the cabinet cleaned off in the kitchen…nothing on it. He could care if I sweep the kitchen. He loves the bed made…and things cleared off my vanity…and the bathroom clutter off the sink…etc., He loves me to water the plants, or to blow off the drive. He is loved by my work for him.

He works very hard for me, and I give him lots of compliments! He hardly notices or cares if I give him words. Actions speak much louder than words to him.

Love your guy with his love language. Think from his perspective is the way Stormie Omartian prays it in the 1st prayer in her book, The Power of the Praying Wife. If you have not prayed that prayer over yourself…and I do it the 1st day of each month, and every Saturday with our prayer blanket.

Thanks Jill for the honor. Go girls! Go!!!!


Monday, October 10, 2011

Day 20....

Happy Monday, friends! Hope you all had a blast using your female flirting skills this weekend!

We have several new girls that joined us this week! Isn't that awesome? God is working all around us and touching hearts and marriages. Those of you that joined in after we started can catch up when the love dare is over. You can go to my blog ( and each love dare day is on there. When we are finished, those of you that missed the beginning can continue back to day one and move forward. :) You will be so glad you did!

Today's dare is brought to you by our friend, Scarlet Torok. It's very insightful and important to celebrate our differences with our men, not reject those differences. Scarlet describes this perfectly below...enjoy and be blessed!

 Day 20:

Celebrating our differences.

He grades bodily functions on sound and smell…
He walks in & out of a room without seeing all the things that need to be done…
He is impatient when it is time to go (and I’m never ready when it is time to go)…
He LOVES being in large crowds and talking to strangers…
He spends money like real estate is good & our stocks haven’t tanked…He watches too much tv (for my taste, at least)…
Yes, those things annoy me, but each trait has two sides. I can turn each of the above statements into the following:
 He can pick kids up off the pavement and deal with their bumps and bruises without flinching (or gagging)!He stays on task and gets the job done!He arrives to appointments on time!
He pulls me out of my shell and gets me to experience new things & new people!
He pays the bills willingly, without having a panic attack!
He teaches me that it is important to stop, breathe, and be!
 He is also AMAZING with the kids! He loves to grill out for me, lift heavy things, and pamper me!
He sweeps the floors, does all the dishes, and irons! (I have ironed twice in the almost 12 years we have been married.)
We are different. That’s God’s design.
He knows that I would not be whole without my husband, that I need him. I think maybe not only because of the second list, but those annoying traits are there for me, too (maybe I have something to learn within them). It is my decision which list I choose to dwell on. I try to make a conscious effort to choose the second one.
Not perfect, by any means, but I’m up to keeping my mouth shut 2 out of 3 times. That’s a big accomplishment for this girl! Ok, confession time is over. So what is your challenge???
Your challenge today is to think of each trait that annoys you and write down the counterpart (with that exclamation point). Focus on each positive aspect that he brings to the table. Shout it from the mountain tops! Or, just say it over and over and over in your head when the negative thought tries to pop in to your brain. Celebrate him and all he brings to your marriage.
While I was putting this together, I read the following quote on Tony Robbins’ facebook page.
It is worth remembering in all areas of our lives, but really brings home the point when thinking of the different personalities in our marriage.
 · From Team Tony: Today’s UPW Quick Tip: "What you consistently speak with emotional intensity, you will experience, you will create, and you will become. The words that you speak with emotional conviction become the life you live – this is your heaven or this is your hell" – Tony Robbins
 Here’s to loving passionately!!!
By: Scarlet Bell Torok

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Love Dare Days 18-19...

What a super fun week we have had showing our men some love! I have to tell you that I smile from ear to ear when I hear your stories! I love the bond and fellowship we have as women. Godly friendships are absolutely necessary and encouraged by our Lord. The Bible describes this as "iron sharpening iron". How wonderful!

Okay, it's the weekend. Let's end this week with more FUN!

Days 18-19:

A little flirt can't hurt.

Remember how you flirted with your man in the very beginning of your relationship? Come on, think back.

Well, I want us to spend this weekend flirting it up with our loves.

Be creative with this! Steal little kisses, pat his backside ;), hold his hand, sit really close to him on the couch and snuggle with him.

Get his attention!

When you are out in public, make it clear to those around you (especially your children!) how much you adore your man.

Smile your beautiful smile and go flirt with your man!

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

Friday, October 7, 2011

Love Dare Day 17...

This is our 3rd Fun Friday together! Hot dog! Let's celebrate!

Our Love Dare week has been filled with fun activities for our loves. Let's have a little more fun today...whaddya say?!

Day 17:

Love and texts.

Text or email your love 3 times today. Yes 3.

If you don't have text or email...hmmm. I guess you will just have to call him! ;)

Text #1: "you're hot."

Text #2: "you are so smart"

Text #3: "I love you."

Easy, right?

Try to space them out a bit throughout the day if you can.

One of my very favorite things to do is to text Lem while we are both at home together. If I am in our room, I will text him while he is watching tv in the den. It always makes him smile!

He usually texts something funny back like this.."Hey, Debbie. Don't text me at home. My wife is here!"

Yes, we are silly. Very. Silly.

Go.....make your love smile today! Have fun!

letting my fingers do the talking,


Thursday, October 6, 2011

Day 16...

I promise to get back to blogging soon. This Love Dare thing has my full attention at the moment. It's been such a huge blessing in my marriage, and yet a little exhausting at the same time. The exhaustion is worth the investment, however.

At the moment, we have 34 love dare participants! I can't imagine the blessings that the Lord has in store for these women who are boldly taking a stand for their marriage and their families! Wow!

I encourage you to keep up the good work, girls. YOU are changing your marriage...your children...your family! Others around you are watching you and being inspired by...YOU!

Here is today's dare that was emailed early this morning. Enjoy...go...LOVE!

Happy Thursday! I hope you had fun with yesterday's dare! Thank you, Scarlet, for the great idea!

I asked my friend, Erin Spinks, to do today's blessed!

Day 16:

"where you go, i will go. where you stay, i will stay. i will follow you." Ruth 1:16

Our husbands are to be the leaders of our family. Today's dare is to write a letter thanking them for leading our family. Be specific, letting him know exactly how you feel about the leadership they carry daily. Pray for your husband. Sometimes leading can be a very big burden on them. Walk this day in encouragement. Ask God to show you ways that can be uplifting to your husband as he leads your family.

I am Chuck's biggest fan! I love him so much. Making him feel that I trust his decisions and talking through life with him brings him joy. He loves to know that I am following him and that I am never leaving his side. Lift your husband up through your letter. Tell your children about his strength. My Rhett(6 year old), says "I love you mommy so much, but I love Daddy just a little bit more!" This always makes me smile! I know that they see that Chuck is the leader. He is first in our home. We respect him the most and we pray for him daily. Make today a day to bless your husband!

Enjoy the ride of life, praying daily for God to show leadership in your husband. Be strong in all you do!

Proverbs 31:25 "She is clothed in strength and dignity. She laughs without fear of the future." You are the best cheerleader for your husband!! Cheer LOUDLY-BOLDLY-IN CONFIDENCE!!

Write your letter of leadership! Be his biggest fan!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Love Dare Day 15....

Good Wednesday morning, girls! Hope you found that being a helper can be fun! Whether your man thanked you or not for helping him, I know in his heart he was grateful.

I have been praying for each and every one of you and for your marriages. Marriage can be so tough at takes everything we have just to make it through the day sometimes.

Have you found that you are more aware of some things in your heart that needed some work while doing this love dare? I sure have! Oh my, my heart has some ugly places. I mean, ugly.

Thankfully, we serve a God who cleanses the ugly right out of our hearts! He makes us white as snow with His forgiveness, love, and grace.

Okay, moving on to today's dare...

Day 15:

Scarlet emailed me this idea. I love it and I think you will too!

Paying bills can be sweet.

Put a sweet little note in the middle of your bills to be paid for your man to find. In the note, thank your man for being so responsible and wise for his family. Tell him what a great leader he is for your family.

Maybe you are the one that pays the bills...that's resourceful. Think of another place you can put the little maybe inside of a piece of mail that he will open. Or inside his wallet. Somewhere he will surely find it.

Men want to know that they are good providers. Do we tell them this enough?? I know I sure don't tell Lem nearly enough.

In fact, I probably complain more about what we don't have than thank him for what we do have.


Guilty, again.

As always, girls...pray to the Lord and thank Him for your hard-working man. Ask God to change your heart and soften it in any areas that need softening regarding being more thankful to your man.

Go! Write your note...spray it with your perfume to make it even more sweet. ;)

"Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving." Colossians:

thankful for my hard working man,


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Love Dare Day 14....

Well, good Tuesday morning!

Are y'all still with me today? Or are you still in hot pursuit of your man. ;)

Or maybe you're still wrapping your brain around the pursuing part.

You can do it......yes you can!

Keep up your pursuing, girls! It will start to get fun! (don't roll your eyes at me.)

Moving on..

Day 14:

In the beginning.

Read Genesis 2 today. Pray before you read. Ask God to clear your head of any distractions.

Focus on verse 18. "The Lord God said, "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Oh, how I love this! I love that we are called "helpers" to our men.

Think of ways you can help your man today. It can be in any capacity...just be his helper.

As you are helping him, think about God's design for you as his helper. Thank the Lord for giving you a companion and a lover to be able to help. How blessed we are, indeed.

"Two are better than one because they have a better return for their work." Ecclesiastes 4:9

off to help my man,


Monday, October 3, 2011

Love Dare Day 13....

We are on day 13! Wow! It will be two weeks tomorrow that we began this Love Dare. I only expected to do this for a week, and yet here we are.

Thank you to Rebekah who took the reigns and lead us on a wonderful love dare weekend journey. I find myself really starting to "think" before I speak to my love now. Anyone else?? Or maybe I am just the only one with the tongue problem.

I guess I never realized how quickly my tongue gets away from me.

It's not pretty. At all.

Okay, moving on from my tongue issues....

Day 13:

Meeting needs.

I have prayed about this day for a whole week. Right now, I am glad that we are separated by a computer screen, because my cheeks will soon be glowing pink.

Here goes.

We are all grown-ups here, and we know that intimacy with our spouses produces a bond like none other.

Not only does God want us to be intimate with our spouses, He wants us to have desire for our loves.

I have to say that I am completely guilty of not showing Lem a lot of the time my desire to be intimate with him.

Yes, I love to snuggle and be with him...but pursuing him intimately is usually left on the back burner. Lem has said to me on several occassions.." Jill, we are not dating anymore...we are you don't have to play hard to get!".

Ouch. I don't want him to ever feel like I don't want him. However, I do make him feel that way when I don't pursue least every once in a while.

Can anyone relate? Or am I the lone ranger here?

Again, I am not saying that I don't like intimacy with him...I am saying that I am never the one "pursuing" it. This, I want to change.

So, our dare today is to pursue our man intimately. I know Mondays are tough with all that we have going on, so the dare doesn't have to actually take effect today. (shew).

Try to pursue him intimately by the end of the week. Surely you will have a few minutes to yourselves sometime this week. :)

He will probably be so shocked (at least Lem will!), he won't know how to react.

Our men desire for us to want them..and pursue them. Let's show them how much we love them by showing them love the way they receive it best...intimacy.

Pray for God to soften your heart in this area if it has any rough edges or vulnerable parts to it regarding this subject. Intimacy with our loves is a beautiful and sacred thing in the eyes of the Lord. If the desire is not there for you, pray that God will put a desire in your heart for your love. Ask the Lord, and you will receive. This is something God wants for us. Period.

still blushing,


" Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:4

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Love Dare days 11-12...

A new choice.

I am honored to guest host the Love Dare email for our friend, Jill. J I thought I had a different topic today, but I feel like the Lord has changed my heart.

Love Dare days 11/12… Love Cherishes and Love is Unconditional:

This weekend’s dare is about putting your mate’s preferences ahead of your own and giving in to their choice(s). It sounds easy enough, but is it? Be generous and kind. We can do this! Wherever you can, defer to your husband. We must do this without grumbling and with a big, pearly smile and mean it… or we’ll “fake it~ till we~ make it.” Let’s face it, we get our way a lot as the wives and/or mommas. Ahem, we mostly make the rules, afterall~ (and maybe pout sometimes till we do get our way with our man... or offer the punishing silent treatment) well, not this weekend.

October is here, a man’s best friend. Let’s make it easy on them, ok?!

This can be about what he wants to eat for dinner, for dessert, a restaurant choice, a movie, visiting the in-laws after church, hunting, BBQ, the countless football games that will be on television this weekend. Openly and with a smile (come on, you can do this, girls!!!) tell your love that you "don’t mind, the choice is his and his preference is very important to you. You decide, babe."

Besides, it’s good to know his favorite things! ;)

I unconditionally love you,

Rebekah :)

Luke 6:38 “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Colossians 3:17 "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.