Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Lucky number 13....

Today is July 13th. It has been a very special day. I called the number for fostering/adoption in Georgia. My heart pounding, my hands sweaty, I dialed the number and prayed for God's leading.

We have our first class tomorrow night. Yes, tomorrow night! We have to take 20 hours of classes before we can even be, here we go.

I have a close friend who told me to write all of this down. Document the memories. So, I am.

Usually, I write in my prayer journal, but it is much easier to type then to free-hand all of this.

So, I have a couple of things to share. Not just for you all, but for me. To keep my hopes up when things seem unsure, or the path is unclear. I need this to remind me of what He is doing through all of this. I need to be able to look back and remember...without a shadow of a doubt that HE is here.

I was feeling a little blah today. Even after the excitement of our first class tomorrow, I just felt a little blahzy. I decided to go to my closet, shut the door and fall on my face before Him. So, I did. My tennis shoes were to the left and a wire hanger was lying to my right.

I prayed to Him and thanked Him. Prayed over loved ones who were facing battles and needing His direction. Just me and He. In the closet. Having some time together.

After praying, a number popped into my head...the number 13. Not the best number. But, I thought for a second and then went to look at my computer at the date today. The 13th..July 13th.

I then went to grab my prayer journal. I knew there was something about that number that God wanted to show me.

I flipped it right open to January 13th. Exactly 6 months ago from today's date. I read it aloud. I had to catch my breath as I got to the 3rd paragraph. It was the very first time that I had written to the Lord about my desire for another child. Yes, I had talked to Him many times before that. But, this was the first time that I had written it to Him.

I also told God I was fasting caffeine for a month. I wanted to be obedient and show Him my desire by giving up something that I really, really, really loved.
I did what I said I would do. I gave up caffeine for a month. For a whole month! If you know me, you know that caffeine is my best friend. My side kick. My liquid consciousness. I feel like breaking into song....

"We go together

 like rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong

remembered forever like

shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom!"

You know you love this song from Grease! You will now have it in your head all day. You're welcome.

Anyway, that's my story for today. I am doing what I was encouraged to do. Writing it down.
Praying for all of you too. I really am. I believe in the power of prayer. It's real.
Jessica Simons I am praying especially for you. God is going to use you, friend. Put on your seatbelt. Speak it outloud and get ready! Keep that Hope alive and burning!
cherishing my loved ones...every last one of you,


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Hope floats....

Ok, here goes. Deep breath. This is the second post that I have written in the last week. Where is the other post you ask? Well after pouring my heart and soul over my keyboard and this little blog of mine..I hit that itty bitty black delete button and poof there it went. On purpose. Not by accident.

If you like to express yourself in written form, you know exactly what I mean. Sometimes, you just have to write it out and then it's out. You feel better. It doesn't really matter who reads it because it's therapy for your heart. It's out is not festering in your mind anymore. It's exposed. Then you read over it, and inhale the magnitude of it and shudder. Yikes. Too much. Too much to share with the world. I think I will hit delete.

 Anyone...anyone ever do this? Is it just me?

 I thought so. Shoot.

The Bible says to bring things to the light..not to keep them hidden. Well, for me, writing this blog is my "light". Of course, I  still do confess and discuss my longings, desires, and direction with my Heavenly Father daily. However, when it comes to expressing myself and what's "going on" with me..I tend to prefer the written form. Just ask my Mom.

When I was a little girl, I would always ask permission on paper. I would express my undying love and devotion to my parents on paper. I would journal about my deepest darkest secrets...which weren't really deep or dark....on paper. Perhaps it seemed less confrontational? Not sure, but it was just how the little Jill preferred to communicate.

Here we are today...30 some odd years later, and Big Jill is the same communicator. I have trouble verbally. It doesn't flow like I want it to. I feel more guarded when I speak verbally than in the written form. I tend to lessen what I really want to say. Know what I mean?

Okay, back to the story.

What I really want to say is that God is working in a BIG way in my life right now. I am not sure how it will all come together for His glory...but I KNOW it will.

You see, my heart has been burning with a desire to have more children. Let me adopt more children. Well, as the old song goes..."It takes two to make a thing go right". Wow, not the best song for such a serious post....but you catch my drift.

Lem didn't exactly share my desire. He wasn't opposed to it completely, but also didn't really have a desire. Lem is a realist. He is practical and very thoughtful in his planning. He doesn't do anything haphazardly or EVER toss caution to the wind.

Me? Well, read the above of how I described Lem, and now change out those words with the exact opposite meaning. Hence....dreamer, not practical, whimsical, haphazard, and loves throwing caution to the wind. Yep, you got is sister...that's me.

Well, Jill and Lem were thrown a big fat curve ball while on vacation. We met two foster children...Jonothon and Jasmin. Brother and Sister. Oh my goodness. Love at first sight.

My heart will never be the same after meeting with them, playing with them, and watching 4th of July fireworks with them.

The children were staying with the family of some friends of ours that were also staying in St. Simon's the same time that we were there. Coincidence? I think not.

 I love how God works. He never ceases to amaze me.

The children will probably be taken from their birth mother and sent to live in a permanent home soon. My prayer is that they not be separated from each other. They have 2 older siblings that they are already separated from. So very sad.

Will you join me in praying for these children? Please pray that God will find the perfect home for them. The home that He hand picks.

Needless to say, my heart is beating twice as fast after meeting those 2 angels. I feel God is preparing our hearts and possibly our home for "more". I need your prayers. God is working. I am seeing the signs. He amazes me with His love. He is all around...I just have to choose to SEE.

I have so many more details to this day I will share. The book is still being written. The forward is all I know at this time. I can't wait to share the chapters in between and then the ending. Wow. I know it will His time.

I hesitate to post this because of the vulnerability that comes with a post like this. My heart wants to stay guarded, and sit back and let God do His thing. However, I want to step out in faith and believe Him and trust Him on this journey.

I want to give Him glory and credit along every stepping stone...wherever it may lead. He keeps reminding me to have HOPE.

Hope. It's a beautiful word. One of my favorite words in the English language. Hope.

Please agree with me in prayer over this journey and pray for the precious lives of Jonothon and Jasmin. They have touched my heart (and Lem's). God knew they would.

I have this very thing written in my journal from July 5th with a heart circled around it:

I trust You.
I will wait for You.
I believe You.
I love You.
I will be still for You.
I believe you.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." Psalm 37:7

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

Okay, Okay...I'm still, I'm still!

How can I pray for you dear friend?

never giving up my Hope,


Sunday, July 3, 2011

Summer lovin'....

~Pictures from one year ago this July in St. Simon' pictures to come from this trip soon!

School is out, Summer is here, and Momma is happy. What's better than having no schedule, nowhere to be, and really nothing to do?

As a stay at home momma, Summer is what I pine away for all year long. Of course, it is nice when the kids are in school and I am able to keep my house a little cleaner and run errands solo. However, I would trade that all in a heart beat for my kids being home, snuggling in my bed, and not a care in the world. Except for maybe..."Who ate the last bowl of Fruity Pebbles?".

As I type, we are in St. Simon's. Our home away from home. Quality time with my other place I would like to be.

Pictures to come....but you already knew that. ;)

Happy Summer friends!